I think it is true. Back when I was holding a job, I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mum (SAHM) and I thought that there could be so much things that I could do with my kid when I become one.
Today, I went back into office to pack my desk in preparation for the start of my 2-year leave of absence from work in Jul. Maybe its becos I haven't been experiencing the stress of work, but I was actually looking forward to going back and meeting with friends and colleagues. I felt guilty for feeling this, but then, it was good to be interacting with people. Although I have always wanted to be a SAHM, these days, I am ocassionally gripped with the thought that it would be liberating to earn my own money and not be consumed by guilt whenever I want to splurge on myself and know that I'm spending my hubby's hard earned money.
Perhaps I would embrace and enjoy my role as a SAHM as Faith gets older and there are more things that we could do together. I've always fantasised that I would be cooking different types of food and cuisines that are nutrious, going out or playing with her and yet, still have the time to pursue my other love i.e. cooking and baking. It may sound rather simplistic. Just as I had always loved my deceased but dearly missed grandma's cooking, I hope there comes a day in the not too near future where Faith would tell me that "Mommy, could you cook me my favourite XXX dish".
In today's context, this may not be the yardstick for being a good mum. However, in the Asia of my grandma's and mother's time where love may not be expressed so openly, it is most often communicated through the food you cook for your family.
1 comment:
Oh, Eve, I understand how you feel about this - about earning our own buck and can spend without feeling bad when overspent on certain things...
Are you on 2-years no paid?? I assume so ya. Take care but I'm sure when you see your little Faith, you will have different set of thinking.. the joyful thoughts :)
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