On Sunday morning, I was pre-occupied with my stuff after I've finished nursing Faith. In order that she can play on her own, I've decided to strap her into the rocker so that I could continue with my chore. In my haste, I hurriedly belted her into the safety harness and snapped it on, not realising that her flesh was caught in the buckle. Faith's face suddenly scrunched into a cry. It must have been extremely painful becos for some 5 seconds, she uttered no cries but you could see her face contorted in excruciating pain before she started wailing. Checking her arms, I saw an angry red welt on the inside of her forearm!
Of course, she cried and howled in pain and I was thoroughly beside myself. A few minutes later, she managed to calm down but occassionally still sob and cry. When she finally stopped crying, I put her down so that I can examine the welt in closer detail.
At that point, my little baby started smiling and cooing at me. It was at that moment that I felt a huge lump at the back of my throat and my eyes started welling with tears. Here I was feeling utterly remorseful and ashamed of myself for being so careless with Faith and she was smiling and talking to me as if to assure me she was ok. Throughout that day and up until now, I felt terrible for being the one that inflicted so much pain on my poor baby.
That day has reinforce the lesson in me that I can never be too careful with Faith. But more significantly, my baby has taught me another more important lesson... the meaning of humbleness. I am humbled by the unconditional love and trust that my baby has in me. So soon after I had cause her much hurt, she could still smile and coo to me. I certainly wasn't so willing to forgive Louis once when he accidentally hit my little pinkie while opening the wardrobe!
While I have always known that motherhood brings with it a huge responsibility, that unconditional love and trust that she has in me weighs even more heavily on me now. But it is one that I shall do my utmost best to earn it.
4 comments:
Yo,
At 3 months, you are already giving yourself such "HUGE" responsibility...hee : P
Well, positive way of looking at this is : u r training her pain management skills.
Btw, Happy 3rd month to 诗 颖, may she becomes strong and happy each and everyday.
cheers,
Aces Family.
Don't worry. :) Faith knew that u definitely love her and the accident was unintentional. And hor.. my dear friend, be more forgiving towards Louis lah. ;P It's now 1-1 (1 for u and 1 for Louis).. ;P
Hi Eve, thanks for sharing. Yes, indeed our little bundle of joy is unknowingly giving us lesson(s) almost everyday and they are always so forgiving. A pat on your shoulder. Don't be upset anymore, things like this tends to happen eventho' we tried our best to avoid.
Take care (smile).
Thanks all! I guess being "gan cheong" or overly concern is the perogative of first-time moms.
Everyday, I'm learning a little more about motherhood and Faith. I guess there would come a time when I wouldn't worry so much. By then, she would be much older :)
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