Faith's own library card

The wonderful about where we're staying is that the library is really just next to us, separated only by a teeny-tiny little road.

Back when I had more disposable income on hand, I would conveniently borrow from the second-hand bookstores cos they stock up some of the newest releases of books or authors that I like. These days, I go to the library -- its definitely much cheaper as long as I don't incur fines from late returns.

Faith's JG Mandarin class teachers were giving me advice on how to pique her interest in the subject by reading to her at home. Of course, since my Chinese is horribly atrocious, they told me to borrow some simple books with Hanyu Pinyin.

Hanyu Pinyin was a life saver back when I was in school and was occasionally called up by the teacher to stand and read a passage or two. It was what I counted on to get me by without which, I can never manage to read an entire sentence without having a clue what it meant or having the teacher to have to read many words that I couldn't managed.

Louis and I felt that in this day and age, Faith would not be able to get by with the level of [terrible] Mandarin standard that we both scrape by. Even though we don't speak much Mandarin at home, I hope to do whatever bit that I can to cultivate her interest in the language. At the very least, not to view it with as much dislike as I did when I was much younger.

Thus, we've borrowed some simple titles like "Gui Tu Sai Pao" (The tortise & the hare) and "San Zhi Xiao Zhu" (Three little pigs) for her. And while I was at the library, I decided to enquire about application of a library card for Faith and was pleasantly surprised to be informed by the counter staff that I could just do it at the e-Kiosk in the library and get the card instantly.

The library system is linked to OSCAR, and as a Singapore Citizen, all I had to do was key in her birth certificate number, slide in my NRIC and minutes later, I had a brand new library card in her own name.

With the additional library card, I can now borrow more books for her with her own card and rotate them around when I read to her at bedtime.

He is alright

Louis is safe and recuperating at home since yesterday after Fri's op.

What was supposed to be a 2-hour surgery took much longer. I thought he would be out around 6 pm, but he came out of the OT slightly after 9 pm. Managed to see his doc cum surgeon as he left the OT and he said that he was happy with the outcome of the surgery. It took longer becos the MCL, that was meant to heal on their own needed repair as well.

He needs to wear his knee brace, which is locked at a 30-degree angle at all times for the next 2 weeks. Mobility is a little of a challenge, as expected, given that his left leg is at an odd angle all the time. Thankfully, the shot that they gave to numb his leg is still effective, so he doesn't feel the pain of the surgery very much.

Appetite post surgery isn't great. He felt a little nauseous yesterday and had only liquids like Horlicks and very watery porridge. Today, he's worked up an appetite for fishball kway teow soup and fish mee sua soup for dinner.

We decided to stay home and not join the extended family for the reunion dinner since it is difficult for him to move around. Thankfully, my MIL called in the evening and came by to pick Faith up, so that she can have reunion dinner over at my in-laws' place.

Unfortunately, Faith seemed to have some slight cough in the middle of the night and early this morning. No phlegm, just coughs that seemed to clear whatever that is blocking the air passage. Just in case, I brought her to see the outpatient clinic at Raffles Medical to get standby medication since its the holiday weekend.

This would definitely go down as one of the more "memorable" CNY we ever had. Yet, we're grateful that at least, Louis is home with us.

Faith at exactly 22 months

Faith’s kind of taken a backseat these days, compared to her dad, when it comes to blogging time. Apart from the onset of runny nose and drooling, she is doing great these days.

Her vocabulary is increasing and she’s picking all sorts of things from around her, some good stuff, some not so good stuff, as with all things.

In school, she’s gotten more sociable – she would wave her little hands and say “hi” to some of her friends when prompted, move forward if the teacher asks to use her for some class demonstration or activity, not cry and cling on to me like a koala bear when we enter a class. I’m really happy with her developments on these fronts. It shows that she’s getting more confident and independent in some ways and preparing herself for the day when she has to make friends in school.

Physically, she seemed to have grown a little taller (most of her pants are now shorter) and from many accounts with some friends and mums in her classes, have put on some weight, visible especially from her chubby cheeks. Perhaps, I’ve gone and jinxed it by being so happy and telling Louis about it and right now, writing it down. Well... that is if one believes in such old wives’ tales, which I sometimes do :) Unfortunately, with her current bout of sickness, her appetite has dwindled a little, so much so that she can’t finish her usual portion of 3 little chicken cocktail sausages.

A happy achievement that Louis and I are quite proud of is that she’s now able to play with her Duplo Lego set that we bought as her Christmas present. Initially, she didn’t quite know what to do with it and simply enjoyed destructing whatever structures we built for her. Louis pointed out that its easier to tear the Lego pieces apart than to put them together. He had a point. So, we set down to show her a little how to stack her little Lego pieces.

With that little help, she’s now happily stacking the Lego pieces into a tall structure, as high as they can go or she can stretch. And when its too high for her to reach height-wise, she followed what Louis taught her by laying them on the ground horizontally and stacking them from the side. There were many a proud moments for her when she excitedly came to us and show us her tall “creations”, saying, “See, see...”.

We’ll probably get her a few more Lego sets cos we think its a good toy that fosters both creativity and finger dexterity, although Faith drives me crazy with them sometimes. She would constantly upend the box of Legos, thrilled to see the contents spilling out and spreading all over the living room floor. After playing with them for maybe 10-15 min, she would abandon them in search of something more interesting. Every day, I spent at least 2,3 or more times, packing these Lego pieces into the box, only to have her pour them all out again in a couple of hours.

Even though its physically tiring and draining these days for me to bring her for 4 days of classes a week, I think its worth it. She’s learning to understand a little Mandarin and looking forward to the one-on-one session with her teacher at JG, where she would follow and read aloud some Chinese words. Of course, the draw for these one-on-one sessions is not becos she’s enamoured of the language. There incentive comes in the form of bribery – she gets a sticker at the end of it.

Her favourite thing to do now whenever she enters the lift is to place her two little hands on the rail, lining the 3 sides of the lift and try to lift herself, feet & all, off the ground, much like the monkey-bars in Little Gym. Even though she’s not able to fully lift herself up, or manages it for like, maybe one second if she does, we still cheer her on.

And music... if there’s anything kids like, Faith loves her music. She’s enjoying her Kindermusik classes very much, enthusiastically banging on the drums with the mallot, or prancing, dancing around. She loves it when I dance with her, so I make it a point to be spontaneous and dance with her, whether at home or outside. It delights her and it makes me feel young[er]... haahaha... And believe it not, she’s enthralled watching DVDs like Enchanted and Mama Mia, essentially, music-based shows. When she wants to watch Enchanted, she would come to me and tell me “Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah”, from parts of the scene in the show. And for Mama Mia, she would go, “Honey-honey...” which is the song that Sophie and her friends sing while reading the former’s mum’s diary.

We’re not sure if its the coming of the Terrible-Two stage, but really, she’s starting to throw tantrums and cry when she doesn’t get her way or if she’s upset. This week, she started to slap at me, my mom and MIL when she’s upset with us. I gave her a dressing down each time and send her to naughty corner if she refused to apologise. And boy does she have a stubborn streak a mile wide. Even though she knows she’s in the wrong, she would refuse to apologise easily.

Louis, who saw her smacking my mom scolded her in a very stern and loud voice – she came running into my arms in fright. If there’s something that we are particular about and insistent upon, its respect for one’s friends, parents and elders. Any transgression is unpardonable and treated seriously.

I’m not sure if her recent smacking tendency was something she picked up from the little boy in her JG class. Quite frankly, he’s the only one that would throw things, hit his friends and kick up a ruckus when he doesn’t get his way.

Nonetheless, finger-pointing aside, I’m sure Faith would get to see some other not so stellar behaviour and test them on us as she gets older, whether is it from real-life or reel-life observation. It is our responsibility as parents to guide her and teach her to differentiate what is right from wrong. It is a huge responsibility and a very challenging one. We hope we will be able to do right by her.

Knee operation

The day has arrived.

We woke up as usual, around 9am. Without fail, upon being fully awaked and somewhat satiated with her morning milk, the first thing that Faith always does is to call out: “Papa...” from where she is on the floor mattress next to our bed. Then, she will somewhat drunkenly stumble around and head towards the side of the bed where her favourite person in the whole wide world is.

This morning, we had to make sure that Louis had his breakfast before 10 am, after which he was supposed to fast for the rest of the time before his operation.

I had a dream on Wed night about his operation, although I couldn’t for the life of me remembered what it was all about on waking. I only vaguely recall that I was looking at the different puncture holes on the sides of his left knee and a longer slash-line just below the knee-cap. Wonder what the dream meant, or is it just a manifestation of my thoughts on his op.

Yesterday, Louis and I went to catch the show “Inkheart”, at the movie theatre. I had recced the cinema ahead of time this week, checking with the staff if they were able to cater for movie-goers on crutches becos the one near to our home has escalators leading from the ticket floor to the movie halls, and more steps exiting at the end of the show. Thankfully, they were quite helpful.

The staff stopped the escalator so that Louis could hop onto the steps. They then turn it back on, stopping almost when we reach the top so that he could slowly hobble out. It was the reverse when we exited the show after the movie. All in, it was an experience for the both of us. At the same time, we know that watching a movie is very plausible, but not on weekends, when there’s a crowd. That would be suicidal and asking for trouble.

As I’m typing this, we’re in the hospital ward, sitting in his room, waiting for the nurses to send him to the operating theatre in another 20-30 min time. I’m sitting in the sofa at the corner of the room that would convert to become a bed at night (which my MIL would be sleeping on), with Louis reading The Straits Time on his bed. Seemingly, all is calm and there is no verbalisation of any jitters from the both of us. But I’ve got butterflies in my stomach since the time I drove him to the hospital.

Much as I would like to be able to stay the night with him, we both recognise that in this, my duty as a mother takes priority. Faith has never been away from me for a single night ever since the time of her birth. Coupled with the fact that she is now down with runny nose, and also salivating constantly since yesterday, its for both our peace of mind that I will go back home to sleep with her tonight. I will stay with Louis and only head home around 8ish pm to put Faith to bed, which probably is the time that my MIL would come over and spend the night with Louis in the room.

Originally, we had made arrangements for my mom to accompany her for her lessons at JG, but becos of her runny nose, we’ve kept her at home – she would missed out on the CNY party that the class is having.

She wasn’t too happy to see that Louis and I left in the afternoon. We didn’t tell her about the hospital and the operation – I think the info would sail over her head. I simply told her that I’m bringing her Papa to see the doctor so that he can get well soon and be able to play, dance and carry her. Again, none of this info calmed her crying. Finally, we told her that mama (my mom) would give her a Yakult if she stayed at home. To which she was of course pacified.

As I’m typing this, the nurses are outside the door, preparing to send him to the operating theatre. I’m praying that the operation and post-op recovery would go on smoothly without any further complications.

Truthfully, its still hard to see my hubby on crutches. Although its been easier since last week’s physiotherapy session when the Doc recommended that he needed to put partial weight on his left leg. However, post-op, he wouldn’t be expected to put weight on his left leg as yet becos the ligaments need time to heal and he would be wearing a brace that would keep his legs straightened.

All this means that he would have to go back to hobbling on one leg, making it very tiring as he has to exert strength to ensure his left leg does not touch the floor. He moves faster hobbling on one leg, but he’s got to rest many times. With partial weight-bearing, he moves a lot slower, but is steadier and its possible to climb up and down a few steps on the stairs.

Still, we’ve got to look on the positive side. With the surgery, it would be that much closer for him to work towards recovery and finally being able to go grocery shopping with me at NTUC that much sooner.

Sometimes in life, the only way to move forward is to look ahead and not back.

Lo Hei 2009

Its the time of the year again to herald the start of the lunar new year. Without fail, that means eating yu sheng or having Lo Hei way before the actual day, which is supposed to be on the 7th day of the CNY.

I've been seeing the sale of yu sheng on display at the sushi counter of NTUC. However, bearing in mind that my mom is a vegetarian and she would frown upon any showings of meat/fish and non-vegetarian condiments accompanying them, I had refrained from purchasing any even though I salivate and drool each time.

While at NTUC yesterday, I saw that they were selling ready-shredded carrots and radishes, along with those home DIY yu sheng boxes, that comes prepacked with all the necessary condiments and seasoning.

Hence, I happily loaded a few boxes of shredded carrots and radishes, along with a box of ready-to-go yu sheng condiments. Had a tough time choosing which brand of those ready-to-go boxes becos there were so many different ones, at different prices with just some slight variations here and there. In the end, I went with one of the cheaper ones.

At home, I happily arranged everything on the biggest serving plate that I had, while my mom was standing next to me and laughing at the size of my plate -- she said it was huge! In the end, I had the last laugh becos after piling all the vegetables and condiments together, it was just nice. Thank goodness we laid newspapers on the table, in anticipation of all the "goodies" that would make their way out as we toss the yu sheng sky high.

This year, Faith again joined us, but this time, she's more aware and curious about the big plate of "salad". She aimed and went for the crispy crackers that topped the yu sheng. While we were all trying to use our chopsticks to toss the yu sheng as high as we could go, she was busy trying to dig for those crackers with her chopsticks. Frustrated in the end (cos she doesn't know how to use the chopsticks yet), she just dug in and use her fingers to pinch the crackers from the plate to her mouth :)

Our first Lo Hei was a bit dry. It didn't come with any instructions, non any ready-packed oil. We decided to add our own after seeing that the yu sheng was a tad dry after we tossed it well.

This evening, I again went back to NTUC, buying another different brand of yu sheng condiment pack. A mid-range one this time. We'd wise up to remember to add 2 tablespoons of oil on our own before we tossed. Well, why do you know?? We all felt that the cheaper box yesterday had more flavour.

No sweat. I'll buy some more next week. Even though we won't be going out to the restaurant much after Louis' op, I'm going to make up for it by eating as much as we can before his op. Besides, with the home DIY yu sheng kit, its really easy to put it together and definitely much cheaper than if we were to eat it at any restaurants.

More updates on Louis' knee - pending knee operation

23rd January 2009 - 2 days before the Reunion Dinner & 3 days before Chinese New Year.

Its the day for Louis' operation to reconstruct his torn ligaments for his knee.

Some may wonder why he's having an operation just before CNY. It didn't quite matter to us. In fact, we prefer to have it done sooner than later. After all, with or without the op, he would still be on crutches. Mobility has been curtailed very much for him ever since the knee injury. We're not expecting to go visiting or anywhere else for that matter but staying home during the CNY.

The doctor advised that he do as much thigh exercise to build up his quadriceps (the part of the thigh just slightly above the knee) before the surgery so as to reduce the swelling and stiffness post-op.

We met up with the physiotherapist after the doctor's check up so that she could walk through and show Louis which are the exercises that would help strengthen the quad muscles and build greater range for him to be able to bend his left knee.

What used to be reflex for him to bend and straighten his knee now seems an onerous task. He was also told to start to putting about half his body weight on his left knee when he walk with the crutches instead of hopping like before.

My heart hurts to see him straining himself and pushing his limits to try to get as much exercise as he can spread out through the day.

Yet despite all the pain and sweat that its causing him, it is for the better. The new "goal" has give him a greater sense of purpose about what he can do to help himself recover faster after the surgery. Its given him a clear target to work towards and with that, greater optimism about the entire knee injury situation.

This afternoon, as I brought Faith for her twice weekly Mandarin class at JG, I dropped him off at the entrance of the Singapore Botanic Garden. He wanted the wide expanse of the pathways to practice learning how to walk and put partial weight-bearing on his left knee.

Since yesterday's physiotherapy session, he's been practising whenever he can lying down to draw his left knee up to about 90 degrees with his feet resting on the flat surface. Additionally, he's also try to push down as hard as he can with his knee when his leg is straightened. These were all the exercises that the physiotherapist had shown him to do.

Assuming no further complications, he would only need to be hospitalised for 1 night and be discharged the next day. The doctor was very optimistic and confident that Louis would be able to enjoy his reunion dinner and celebrate CNY. We gather he used the word celebrate very loosely to mean that at least he wouldn't need to be in the hospital.

Whatever it is, we're all praying that the surgery would go well, there wouldn't be any further complications post-op and that with hard work, perseverance and care, he would be able to recover swiftly. From all that he's read online, patience appears to be a virtue and criteria as well.

We never thought this would apply to us. Well... not at our current age. But, we've applied and successfully gotten a Class 2 Disabled Parking Label. With his crutches, Louis definitely needs more space to get in and out of the car. Proximity to entrances is also necessary as it can be taxing to use the crutches and walk for long distances.

We currently applied for Class 2 Parking Label as either myself or my FIL will now drive the car. When Louis is better able to drive, we'll change the label to a Class 1, which means the vehicle is driven by the ones with disability or mobility issues.

Updates on Louis' knee

We went back to the doctor yesterday for his routine weekly check-up until the operation, which is likely to take place just before the CNY.

Met up with Eileen for lunch since her office is just opposite Raffles Hospital. On our way up to the clinic after lunch, we met a doctor in the lift who enquired about how Louis sustained his knee injury. He was a little surprised that he hurt it while playing badminton, instead of contact sports as he had originally thought.

As we split off in different directions on the same floor, the doctor casually asked if I was Louis' sister, cos he said we looked very alike. Hahaha... :)

This week, his swelling is still present although it has gone down quite a bit. There's still some discoloration around the knob of his left ankle, which was to be expected.

His doctor did a check on his knee before he started to explained a little about the upcoming surgery.

Technically, Louis is medically known to have dislocated his knee, as more than 2 of his ligaments were torn (he torn 3). In most cases, people would only have torn either the ACL or PCL. In such situations, the doctors would typically extract a tendon from the other uninjured knee area to help join the torn ligament together during the operation.

Louis, unfortunately torn both ligaments, making it insufficient to rely on extracting his own tendon to aid in the repair. Hence,his doctor shared that when the time for surgery comes, he would be ordering in tendons from the US. I had to ask him somewhat incredulously if that meant that the tendons were from human beings. His reply was that it was, but these donors were "no longer living". However, he went on to assured us that there is strict quality controls, processes and protocols to ensure these harvested tendons are safe and legal for use.

I had mixed reactions hearing that cos there might be complications arising from the use of these tendons. On the other hand, it beats extracting it from Louis' other knee area cos if it required surgery to extract it, wouldn't he be wheelchair-bound after the op??!!

Anyways, the doctor again assured us that there is very little risk of rejection from donated tendons (0.1%), but he said there would definitely be reactions to these tendons. It could be swelling or in worse situations, there might be pus, which would require some extraction through injection of sorts.

We jokingly asked if he was trying to protect us by spreading the series of bad news over the weeks instead of telling it to us all in one time. He was somewhat amused and laughed. But he felt that if he were to share everything with us, it would be too much for us to absorb. Well... he certainly has a good point there.

At next week's appointment, he would share more with us about possible complications arising from the surgery.

Its expected that post-op, Louis would still be on crutches for another 4 weeks, before he can slowly start to put some weight on his left leg towards the 5th and 6th week. It would be a good six months before he could run, and is encouraged to pursue straight-line sports e.g. swimming, jogging etc versus sports that requires the knees to have sudden lateral movements in the future.

I was asking the doctor if the injury was partly due to normal wear and tear over the years, instead of the one-off injury. His assessment was that it was a one-off accident and that Louis might have landed rather awkwardly to injury his knee so badly. In the doctor's own words, he said, "Its the worst badminton injury that I've come across. In fact, it is like a traffic accident injury."

I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry upon hearing that. Sigh...

New year, new start

The new year has seen a few changes in Faith's life. New classes, new friends, new teachers, new routines and new environments.

By Dec 08, she turned 19 months and along with that, she moved up the age band for all her classes. From being one of the oldest in her classes, she's now one of the youngest. Her friends are now toddlers like her, ranging from 18-36 months.

At the Little Gym, she's now in the Beasties class. We have also switched her from the all English Playnest class at JG to the all Mandarin Playclub class. For the later, it not only meant a complete switch of language used, but the routine that she has been used to is now slightly different and classes are 2 hours, twice a week instead of 1 and a half hours, twice a week. Kindermusik classes would only start next week, so, we'll have to wait and see on that.

As with all changes, there are the goods and bads.

It might be early days still to say this, but I think there are mostly positive changes.

In her Little Gym class, her friends in the previous class were a mix of babies and toddlers, some walking and others crawling. After 6 months of lessons in what was called the Big Bird's class, lesson were not as challenging nor novel anymore.

Being the youngest in her current class, there's room for her to see and observe the older kids at work. They are nimbler, faster, agile and more confident. They provide the impetus for her to venture out of her more cautious nature to attempt to do what they could do. For example, she never taken much likings to bars. After seeing a few of them hanging and swinging themselves on the bar (agile like monkeys, I might add), she was willing to try.

I hope she would be able to learn new skills, ones that would be age appropriate and help boost her confidence level a little higher.

Admittedly, the decision for her to go into an all Mandarin JG class was made with much conviction although I entered Wed's class with a lots of trepidation and anxiety. Would she be overwhelmed, will she understand at all what the teachers are saying given that she doesn't understand Mandarin. Will I myself be able to help her along seeing that my own knowledge of Mandarin is appalling at best and getting worse with disuse?

Routine-wise, there are some slight variations here and there, compared to her previous class. By and large, they do pretty much the same activities though. The class starts off with free play, some song and dance, self-introduction, art & craft, puppet show, playground, snacks and finally, a bit more song and dance to end the class.

Worried that she might not understand what was going on, I tried to translate and co-relate some of the activities to her English Playnest class. Only to be told by the teacher later not to translate as it might result in the child being dependent on the parent to translate the activities for them instead of them learning to pick up the language all on their own. Oops... this is one of those times when doing less is more :)

Faith was unfazed by the fact her friends, teachers and the language used were different. Of course, she couldn't understand most of what they say, but by some gestures and incentives, she managed fine. She still dance, twirl and clap enthusiastically during the song and dance parts, never mind that she's never heard any of those songs before until that day.

By the end of the lesson, I was pleasantly surprised and proud too by what my little one had achieved. She could repeat 2 words; 你好 - Ni Hao (How are you) and 谢谢 - Xie Xie (Thank you). Each child took turns to be sitted in front of a teacher and was incentivised to follow and read aloud with her the themed words on the flashcard. The incentive was a sticker for repeating the word "Ni Hao". And upon getting the sticker, the kid was asked to say "Xie Xie". Back home, she happily repeated the word "Xie Xie" to the amusement of my mom and Louis.

Overall, it was a good start and a good session for us, bar for one incident.

Her class is a small one, with only 5 students including Faith. Three of them were existing students of the class from last year (1 Caucasian boy, 1 Eurasian boy and 1 Eurasian girl). Faith and another younger boy were the only 2 newbies, with the latter transferred from another JG branch's Mandarin class.

In one of the sing and dance, we were all gathered in a circle, each mother/caregiver standing by the child's side. Suddenly, unprovoked and without reason, the Caucasian boy rushed forward and pushed Faith hard on her chest with his hands, causing her to fall backwards on her butt.

It was so sudden and unexpected that I couldn't even stop it. I was shocked but not too concerned. One of the teachers told him it was wrong to do so and brought him back to stand next to his caregiver (I believe she's a maid). Thankfully, Faith wasn't hurt, and neither did she cried at being pushed.

A few seconds after he was led back to his place, he again rushed forward to repeat the same stunt with Faith. Thankfully, another teacher was anticipating it, along with myself. I held onto Faith while the teacher blocked him from attempting his feat a second time. Again, the teacher led him back to his place, where his caregiver had not moved from her spot to at least try to restrain him.

I could peg this boy as one who is active, boisterous and maybe a tad exuberant. In another earlier activity when the teacher was playing hide-and-seek, he rushed forward to find her and gave her a good hard smack on her back. We all laughed off this incident, with myself thinking that he just didn't understand how to restrain himself.

For the remaining session, he attempted another once or twice more to try to "target" Faith, either by snatching her toys or just shoving her aside when she was near him. The few attempts, the caregiver made some feeble attempts to stop and admonished him.

When we were at the playground later, she somewhat flippantly explained to me, giving me the impression that it was not the first time that he did something like this to another kid. He might sometimes pick on a kid, usually a girl. However, she said that the next day, he would have forgotten all about it.

I wisely held my tongue about it, becos I was still fuming a little that she hadn't rushing forward to stop the child after his incredible first stunt of pushing Faith, or even if her reactions were slow, to at least move her butt instead of standing where she was. The fact that she never once apologised and her laissez-faire attitude about him having being rough with other kids before sounds to me like a lame excuse rather than a reason.

I don't exactly blame the boy, becos he might be young and not know better. However, I do expect that his caregiver be more alert and responsive to his behaviour.

And so, I held my tongue and only said "hmmm..." to what she told me. I knew that if I had allowed even one word to slip out, it wouldn't have been anything nice. I didn't want to kick up a big fuss at what might [hopefully] be a one-time incident, especially since it was only the first lesson.

Towards the end of class, when he again tried to be rough with her while they were playing on the playmat, I told him firmly that he had to be gentle. He then gently used his hand to try to stroke Faith's head.

Like any mother, I am very protective of my child, although I know that in the course of her growing up, she might meet other kids who are just plain mean or being bullies. I would have to learn how to handle such situations myself and/or to teach Faith how to handle them too. Even till now, I still go through the incident in my head and evaluate the various reactions I should have taken or would take if it ever happens again.

You can bet that I'll definitely be on the lookout for any repeat behaviours from both the child and his caregiver on Fri's class. If it happens again, I'm certainly going to do something about it.

However, I do hope it wouldn't happen again. After all, I would like for both Faith and myself to be able to enjoy these classes. Then again, these are all part and parcel of life and perhaps, we might just have to learn sooner rather than later how to deal with some unpleasantness that will pop up once in a while.

An inconvenient truth

I don't know where and how to start on this post. Should I explain where I left off from the last post, with all the to-ings and fro-ings or should I just cut to the chase and tell what was the latest diagnosis?

On reflection and for the sake of friends who are reading this, I shall take the longer route to explain.

Let's get to where we left off about Louis having to go for review on New Year's Eve. After the visit to CGH A&E, he was referred to the Sports Clinic of the hospital. An earlier x-ray of his knee showed that there was no bone fracture, which was supposed to be a good thing becos a bone fracture takes a longer period to recover. To determine more conclusively the extent of his injuries, there was a need for him to go through a MRI.

Unfortunately, the earliest date that he could go for a MRI was on 14 Jan, which was 2 weeks away. Another further 2 weeks was required for the report to be out. In essence, it would be a good one month before he would be able to know where the specific injuries were located.

In the meantime, he was given 1 month of medical leave from work and was expected to be using the crutches to aid his movement during the interim.

It was a rather frustrating and discouraging result for both of us. What made it most difficult was having to wait so long without knowing how serious his injuries were. And becos they could not pinpoint the seriousness of the injury, physiotherapy was also not recommended. Not knowing and the inability to take any action makes the entire situation a little difficult to bear.

Thankfully, Louis received a timely email from his boss with a recommendation to seek a second opinion with another orthopedic surgeon from Raffles Hospital. As the swelling has spread downwards from his knee to his ankle and foot, we decided to consult the outpatient clinic there on New Year's day and also request for a referral to the orthopedic surgeon, Dr Lim Lian Arn.

Therein lies the difference between a public hospital and a private one. Understandably, queues in a public hospital tend to be a little longer as it is subsidised. It's all economics.

We were able to speedily get an appointment to see Dr Lim on Fri when we called for an appointment on New Year's day. And the all important MRI that would shed light on the extent of his injury was scheduled for the same day, with the results out some 45 mins after the MRI scan.

This was what we understand of the situation -there are 4 main ligaments in the knee; the ACL, MCL , PCL and LCL (see here for pictorial diagram and explanations). In Louis' case, 3 out of the 4 main ligaments were torn. Only the LCL, the ligament that gives support to his outer knee was intact. In addition, there was another water capsule (don't exactly know what that is or its function) that had burst. The water capsule was important for some insertion of scope to aid in the surgery.

So, while he definitely requires an operation for his knee, it was not possible at this juncture to do so as we have to wait for the water capsule to repair itself, which would take 3 weeks. Between now and then, Louis would be required to go in to check with Dr Lim on a weekly basis on the condition of his knee.

For now, he should not try to do any lifting or exerting, which includes trying to stand or put weight on his left knee. We also bought a knee brace that covers from the upper top thighs to the calf.

In short, that means that Louis will be home-bound for a while to come (around 1-2 months, hopefully?). The crutches do assist him in moving around but it is not easy as he has to use his thigh muscles to lift his left leg off the ground all the time, making it rather exhausting for him to go anywhere. Even going down to the steak house just next to our block, less than 50 metres away, would require him to take 1 or 2 short intervals in between to rest his arms and leg.

In all this, we are trying very hard to see the silver lining in the whole situation, although we haven't quite figure out what it is. Nonetheless, we are thankful that at least the remaining ligament was not torn -- else, it would have meant his entire left knee was dislocated, whatever that might mean. The other being that although this injury was no small matter, at least it wasn't life-threatening.

Louis, being the positive man that he is, considers the entire situation to be one of inconvenience - to him and everyone else in the family and at work. The pessimist in me is trying hard to be an optimist, thankful and not ask rhetoric question like "why did this happen to him/us".

It is really great that we had strong support and encouragement from our family. My elder BIL was called upon 1 day after his return from a 4-month overseas job stint to help drive Louis to the hospital 3 days in a row. My elder SIL called every other day to see if I required any help or grocery shopping for our meals. My in-laws helped us to take care of Faith during the holiday break, giving us some time to breathe and take a rest. My mom, unfortunately had to take care of another important family matter that cropped up on the same day that Louis sustained his knee injury and was away until yesterday. Louis and I were very grateful when she finally came in :)

Of course, we need to share how our dear daughter has been adjusting to her beloved Papa's injury. We think she might have an inkling of what's happening. She no longer asks for Louis to carry her, although she occasionally still asks him to dance with her when she's excited about her favourite shows like Hi-5 or Elmo. Once, she brought him the plastic mat, which was actually one of her toy, which we improvised and use to catch dripping water from the cold compress.

We have also shifted back to our master bedroom. Faith now sleeps on the floor on her own for the better part of the night. I alternate between sleeping on our own bed and going down to pat or soothe her back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night - unfortunately, I'm not one of those mothers who are lucky enough to have a child that sleeps through the night.

We are taking each day as it comes, and adjusting our routine and lives to accommodate this "slight inconvenience" for as long as it takes till the day that Louis would be able to walk on his own without the aid of the crutches.

It seems like an eternity for now, but I'm sure there's a moral to be learnt of this incident. Not lest this: we always talk about taking the little things for granted - nothing brings home that message more clearly than when one comes close to losing it. For 2009, we are looking forward to the time when we can go grocery shopping in NTUC together again :)