Learning

In the past few weeks, I have been secretly grateful that Eve has turned out to be the all-efficacious mum. Each day, when she updates me with her SMSes on how Faith is doing at home, I think about how lucky I am to have someone like her at home with Faith. As much as Eve sometimes tells me about how misbehaved Faith is, I know deep down, mummy loves her dear daughter so much that her bark is simply worse than her bite.

This week alone, Eve has been noticing Faith's small gestures much more now. She is getting better at interpreting Faith's whimpers, "growls" and cries. She was even telling me how which one will suceed another when Faith is really hungry. Eve has also been a natural when it comes to bathing Faith and changing her - something I am quite hopeless at. (Aunty had very quickly given me a "Fail" when bathing Faith, and Eve received a "Pass" on her first attempt). I think Eve was quite shocked when she saw me attempting to change Faith (I had tried to contort her hand out of her sleeve). I had asked Eve if she had received training on all this during Home Economics - you see, I can be quite a sore loser. Add to that, I am still quite bad at changing Faith's diapers (though I can assure you that I am improving). I never fail to soil my hands each time. I will do my best to avoid that in my next try.

Can fathers be better at doing all the above than mothers? I sometimes wonder. I think I am more suited for playing (roughly) with her, rocking her and singing to her. Perhaps it is because I have been so used to singing to her when she was still in mummy's belly. Now I try to sing to her hoping to see some response - that she will remember this voice that sung to her from even before she was born. And frankly, I think she does. But when it comes to tending to her real needs - feeding her, bathing her, changing her diapers, changing her clothes etc, Eve is definitely still the more competent between the two of us. In other couples, though, I know that's not always the case. Sometimes, it very much depends on the kid. Affinity, one would say, plays a large role in this I believe.

For now, this Father is trying his utmost best to balance work and this new family life. Having a kid changes the dimension of family life tremendously, it is true. It isn't just two people having to cope with one new person in our lives, but also, having to adapt to each other as we fit into our new roles. I am just thankful that we have had this opportunity to learn together and that so far, even with a few "tuition fees" in the form of pespiration (when I bathe her) and tears (when Faith doesn't feed well), we really couldn't have asked for more.