A trial run of things to come

Today is the start of a 2-day trial of "independent parenting" for Louis and myself. Since the day of Faith's arrival, we've had help from either the hospital or the confinement lady upon our arrival back home. This weekend, our confinement lady has asked for time off in order to pay respect to her deceased mom back in Malaysia.

The concept of a confinement lady is prevalent in Singapore and Malaysia. Usually by word of mouth, a mother-to-be would hire a nanny of sorts to take care of herself and the newborn for a period of one month. It is believed that the 1st month after childbirth is a time for the new mom to recuperate from the delivery and also one in which the body requires a lot of nourishment to repair and renew itself. Hence, the confinement lady is hired solely for the purpose of providing 24x7 care to the mom and the baby. This usually involves the cooking of nourishing food for the mom and also general care of the baby so that the new mom could rest as much as possible.

It is with some amount of trepidation that Louis and I look forward to the 2-day of having Faith to ourselves and wondering if we will survive with our sanity intact. The morning started off on a wobbly start as Louis and I spent some 5 hours "combating" with Faith on the proper technique to suckle and breastfeed independently without assistance from myself. I never knew what mothers went when they say that the first 2-3 weeks of breastfeeding was the most challenging and hence, much determination is required to persever the daily challenges that comes with breastfeeding. In gist, breastfeeding techniques or Faith's temperament change by the day and what worked yesterday might not work today until both mother and child develops a routine and also when the milk flow stabilises.

For lunch, our BIL and SIL came over together with Anthea and Anders as the cousins wanted to spend some time with Faith and also to partake some of the "vinegared pig trotters" food that is only prepared during the confinement month.

Right now, its mid afternoon and Louis is taking a nap in Faith's room while I'm blogging. Faith's been sleeping for a good 3 hours after the morning's combat and I should be too cos we wouldn't know what other "challenges" are ahead of us.

Wish us luck!

Having Faith

Louis has told his version of Faith's dramatic entrance into our lives and since, the week that followed her arrival. Having taken a long hiatus from my blog postings, I feel in need of a little self indulgence and blog about my own experiences as a new mother. I do apologise if this blog is going to be focused on Faith, breastfeeding and parenthood. But frankly, if you've got to spend a month cooped up at home with the "mandate" to rest in bed as much as possible, feed baby and recuperate from the c-section, your focus or range of available conversation topics could only go so far.

In retrospect, I think we couldn't have come up with a more apt name than Faith. There are 2 reasons which I think why Faith (Belief) is so appropriate. Firstly, whenever I have gone to the Buddhist temple to visit my dear grandma who had passed away 3 years ago, my only prayer was that she would "watch" over me and what's mine. Even though my grandma has passed on, I knew without a doubt that a part of her is still watching out for me from wherever she is, keeping us safe. I know it might sound strange to some, but I'm positive that many others would also be able to relate to this heartfelt belief for their departed loved ones that they have developed deep attachments. And of course, my mom has been praying too as a Buddhist for both our safety more than anything else.

Secondly, as Louis had recounted about what we went through, my gynae had told us that he had similar cases recently in which 2 of his patients had placenta abruptio, one of whom had just given birth 3 days after my own experience. Unfortunately, both of them had to remove their womb due to the heavy bleeding and one of them had even lost her baby. Hearing it and having gone through the same experience myself, I believe that its more than luck that has kept Faith and myself safe. How do I explain the fact that I'd labour contractions much earlier than most at 3 weeks before our due date and the fact that our gynae was conducting an early round of inspection that day? Or the fact that both of us escaped relatively unscathed while 2 others had both lost their wombs and one even her unborn child? Even though Faith is underweight for her time, Louis and I are just thankful that we are alive and healthy.

For now, I can't say that motherhood has given me a glow. Like all new parents, Louis and I are rather sleep deprived as this stage and it seemed overwhelming that there are so many nuances of parenthood that we need to learn in order to be able to handle our little bundle (let's not jump the gun and call her a bundle of "joy" for now"). We are still learning to differentiate her cries, handling her crankiness at feeding time, how to bath and change her diapers and a gazillion other challenges. And she's certainly is showing more of her character too. Some of it seemingly similar to either Louis or myself.

However, despite all her crankiness and occassional temperament, the one thing that never fails to cheer me up is seeing her smile in her sleep or while she's nursing. I think I could watch her do that and not get bored. I guess that's just the beginning to the joys of parenting and why many have told us that parenthood is rewarding.

Our Baby Faith :)

Faith
Variations: Fay, Faye.
1. "A puritan virtue name that's begun to sound very appealing to modern parents who like the name's straightforward feminine image as well as its meaning. Indeed, it does take faith nowadays to get married and start a family — faith that you'll be a good parent and your child will turn out well. If you don't have that kind of confidence, better opt for Hope..." (source: www.parenting.com)
2. "It is of Middle English origin, and its meaning is "loyalty; belief". A virtue name" (source: www.thinkbabynames.com)
3. "Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 (source: Name That Baby)
4. "Fidelity to one's promises; sincerity of intentions" (source: Marriam Webster Dictionary)

Faith Tan arrived on the 23 March 2007 (Friday), in the early Singapore morning.

Faith's beginnings were dramatic (as you can see, we've picked up the bug of Parentsi Melodramatis fairly quickly). Eve had felt strong contractions the night before and I had come home merrily from dinner with my ex-boss. We hadn't packed our all-important delivery bag that night - yet. Because after all, Faith just turned full-term that week and we weren't expecting her till oh - three weeks later. And Faith, if you are reading this, mummy and daddy's excuse is that we've both been quite busy at work - daddy with his travelling and mummy with her IDA event on Wednesday.

I think parents develop an instinct for when their babies will come. Because for something we procrastinated for weeks, we packed our baby bag that night in half an hour. Call it Braxton Hicks or any other name, we had a feeling we'd be sorry if we had turned in without preparing that night.

At 2am on Friday morning, we decided to leave for the hospital. As first-time parents, we weren't sure what exactly constituted strong contractions or of water-bag bursting. After all, when one watches Chinese drama on Singapore TV, water-bag bursting usually means a pool of water gushing out from the pregnant mother - enough perhaps to fill a tub?

As we write this, Faith is yelling - perhaps from a nightmare or just her normal fussing before going to bed. She entered into the world close to 7am that morning with a yell just like that. Only then, she was in an operating theatre and she was probably oblivious to all the commotion going around her.

Faith arrived by an emergency Caserean-section. While Eve and I had discussed extensively about whether Eve would take an epidural to ease the labour pains of natural birth, we never once discussed the possibility of a C-section. When we were admitted into the hospital at 2am, the nurse had given us the routine check-up and informed us that Faith was due say around 11am. Fortuitously, at around 6am, our gynae came by to check-up on Eve as he had just delivered another baby in a nearby suite (we're not sure how this works in other countries, but in Singapore, gynaes tend to show-up only closer to delivery time - not 5 hours before). At first, everything seemed okay and he was almost giving the same thumbs-up that the nurses had given for a natural birth. But then he stopped very abruptly. This picture is still very vivid in my mind because I think his abruptness alerted me to something amiss. He then checked the fetal charts, put on his gloves to do further checks, and promptly told us that we had a choice: we could either deliver Faith now by emergency C-section or risk losing the baby and possibly putting Eve and her womb at risk, if we chose to continue with natural birth. Eve of course wasn't able to see what was exactly happening but in reality there was substantial bleeding occuring already. I assured her that I could see a "little blood" and that it was best to go with our gynae's recommendation.

According to Yahoo! Health, Placenta Abruptio occurs in 3 in 1,000 pregnant women aged 20 to 24, increasing to 7 in 1,000 in pregnant women over age 35. "Normally during pregnancy, the placenta is firmly attached to the inner wall of the uterus until the baby has been born. Placenta abruptio is the premature separation (abruption) of the placenta before childbirth. Since the round, flat placenta is a "lifeline" that supplies nutrients and oxygen to a fetus from the mother, an abruption can be life-threatening for the fetus, and sometimes for the mother as well".

Half an hour after the doctor's assessment, Faith was delivered in the nick of time. Within that half an hour, several things happened - and more probably did in the background. What I was aware of were the calls that the nurses made to the operating theatre to prepare a theatre and to staff an anaethetist. I had to sign a few forms consenting to the op. My paedaetrician was paged and he had come running into the changing room of the operating theatre, where I was readying myself for the clean-room environment. I was none the wiser in the operating theatre. But I take my pd's word, when he told me in the changing room (when we were changing out of the theatre overalls) that Faith was saved literally in the nick of time.

Unfair Treatment

Sometimes, it seems to be that Louis is the one that is pregnant instead of me. I'm saying this going by how my mom exhibited anxious behaviour over Louis' well-being more than mine, especially prior to him leaving for his overseas trip.

When I first returned to Singapore from my break in the US, my mom made me a portion of bird's nest soup. And since then, that was the only time she made bird's nest soup for me and me alone.

Two weeks later, Louis arrived home and guess what, my mom made another batch of bird's nest and told me to share it with him. And on Fri night, my mom called me on my handphone to confirm if Louis was flying off on Sunday morning? She then explained that she went by the medical hall to buy more bird's nest but as it was the Lunar Chinese New Year period, the medical hall was closed and she couldn't purchase any. She remembered that I took 2 pieces of bird's nest home once and told me to double-boil it on Sat so that Louis could have the bird's nest soup before his trip.

Of course, I whined back to her and lamented that I was the preggie one here, not Louis. To which, she laughingly said we could share the bird's nest after I've boiled it. And throughout my conversation with my mom, my dear hubby was eavesdropping at my side and sniggering away silently.

Geez, I wonder if my status as my mom's daughter has changed to become that of a daughter-in-law after marriage. How the world has change.

Le Petit Bebe Qui Pense

I'm in my 32nd week of pregnancy and officially into my 8th month. This week, we visited the gynae for a detail scan of Baby's weight and measurements to see if all is well with Baby's growth rate.

Unfortunately, the Doc said that while Baby was doing well, his/her weight was at the lower range of weight gain for a baby of his/her size, at approx 1.7 kg. I asked the Doc if I could do something to rectify the situation such as trying to stuff myself with more food. He replied that there's really nothing much I can do at this moment and even if I try to ply myself with more food, it doesn't guarantee that Baby's weight will gain exponentially. He asked that I check with my mom on my birth weight as it could be a possible explanation for Baby's size too. Unfortunately, my mom told me I weighed around 3.1 kg at birth, which i gather during my time, I was a relatively big baby. *Huge sigh*

Thus far, I've been blessed with a compact belly and am able to carry my pregnancy well without the waddle gait that most women faced. I guess the downside of a small and compact pregnancy bulge is that Baby is smaller. I was frantic and worried that Baby would come out small at birth and also feeling pressured that I'm not a "good mom" since I've been hearing of many friends or friends of friends who have delivered babies weighing more than 3.5 kg or even one that is 4 kg!!!

Through it all, I am thankful that Louis, my mom, MIL, friends and colleagues were encouraging to say that it might be easier to deliver a smaller baby and to not fret too much as its always possible for Baby to feed more and play catch up after birth.

An old wives' tale that I've heard from 2 sources was to eat more durians as it might help speed up Baby's growth. However, Louis wasn't in favour of such "drastic measures" and felt that extreme behaviours or habits in the hope of reversing the situation might turn out to be more harmful than helpful to Baby.

For now, I'm just hoping and praying that Baby will continue to maintain his/her growth rate and not slow down in the last 8 weeks. At least, there's hope that Baby might turn out to be in the normal weight range at birth and allay my fears going by the 0.6 kg growth rate per month.

Oh... and the Doc did a 3-D scan of Baby's face. Hmmm... from what we can see, Baby seemed to be worried cos he/she had her left hand to the forehead, as if he/she was deep in thoughts. And Baby seemed to have a high forehead coupled with a fairly big nose too! I think Baby is resembling Louis more in terms of looks and being a worrier too. Hahaha... at least I don't have a problem with that. If Baby is a worrier, then perhaps I wouldn't have to chase after Baby at the school-going age to ensure he/she completes his/her school work ;)

A Time to be Grateful

Actually, I've discovered that there are many things I should be thankful for or be appreciative of about pregnancy. In my 1st trimester and the better part of the 2nd trimester, I've been grappling about lots of things. On reflection and especially since I've returned back to work after the 2-month break in the US, I've come to realised that indeed, there are quite a number of priviledges associated with pregnancy. Other than some of the physical discomforts from a bigger stomach, really, there's a lot to be grateful about.

Most people that I've met tend to be extremely friendly and considerate towards pregnancy mom-to-bes. Like I was once queuing at the Ikea Alexandra toilet and the woman ahead of me actually offered for me to preceed her to use the next available cubicle. And a couple of times, hawkers would strike up conversations starting with "so, is it a boy or girl that you're expecting?" or "so, you how many months pregnant?". Seemingly, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you put together many such nice encounters, it makes you realise that really, the ugly Singaporeans that many people make disparaging remarks do have a good side to them.

Definitely, pregnant moms get priority when it comes to food. Once, I was at the reception level of my office having a meeting and both our office receptionists had some "kuehs" from another colleague. They offered to share their food with me even though I was about to start my meeting and insisted that they would keep a portion for me until my meeting ends. And what great timing it was. Becos I was a little hungry after my meeting and that served as my tea time snack.

While housework becomes daunting with pregnancy, I am externally grateful to my mom and aunt for coming over to my house on a weekly basis to help clean my house and mop the floors. In fact, they have even wiped all the windows and window grills in the house that I don't even have to do any spring cleaning for the coming Chinese New Year!!

Although my small stomach has been a source of concern to me as to whether Baby is growing at the recommended weight range, I'm grateful that I do not have any "love-handles" when seen from the back nor do I waddle much at all. In fact, a number of colleagues have remarked that I've carried my pregnancy pretty well for someone in her last trimester and in fact, there's that glow on my face. Now that certainly is a morale booster, especially when my own vanity gets the better of me at times and I dispair about my pregnant form and the limited [read dowdy] maternaty clothes that I now wear to office.

In the whole scheme of things, and now that I've got another 8 more weeks to go before Baby is supposedly due, I thought that I should show gratitude to the many people who have in one way or another shown me the better side of human nature. So, to all my family, friends, colleagues, bosses and strangers that I have encountered, here's a big "THANK YOU" for the kindness, consideration and support that you've shown :)

Finally...a decent posting!

Its been many days since I've last blog and I felt as if something's missing now that I don't blog daily, as part of the routine that I've established during my 2 months hiatus from work. Wonder if that qualifies me as a avid blogger :)

Having Louis back home is a wonderful thing, albeit I still pick on him at times for some of his little endearing [read annoying on days when I'm being a grumpy grouch]habits of leaving trails of clothes and what-nots around the house. But then, as he is oft to remind me, I should be more appreciative him since he is fastidious about washing the laundry twice or thrice a week, fold the dried clothes, irons the clothes or basically making himself useful in the house. And indeed I do! My bark is just worst than my bite *grins*

We spent Fri night catching up with our close-knit group of friends, having dinner in a nice Japanese place along Quayside, call Bon Gout (which means good taste in French). And what a difference a couple of months had made to the Quayside area. We were all surprised at the number of new cafes and restaurants that sprouted out, some of which were restaurants that were recently reviewed by The Straits Times e.g. Brussel Sprouts. Dessert was at this Les Amis group chain called Canele, complete with a great tart au citron, mocha mousse, macaroons etc. Louis and I would like to bring the family here for dinner one day.

Weekends were spent catching up on grocery shoppings and other errands, in between catching up with different groups of friends. Having gotten use to the vast space and wide roads in the US, Louis felt a little claustrapobic in the narrow aisles of the new NTUC Xtra at AMK Hub.


Yoonmi, our Insead Korean friend, is in town for 3 weeks for training. Hence, we spent Sunday afternoon having a leisurely lunch and catching up on old times and of course, the latest updates on everyone else's life/work et al. And knowing that I do like a number of Korean dishes, Yoonmi hauled along some items from Korea like the pancake flour, bibimbap sauce, bulgogi meat wrap sauce and quintessential of Korean cuisine...kimchi. Lotsa lotsa kimchi. With my new goodies, I believe that I am now ready to kick-start my own little Korean Kitchen and whip out some [hopefully] sumptous Korean dishes.

An interesting bit of trivial for nursing moms is that in Korea, women during their confinement would drink a soup of beef with seaweed. Seaweed is touted to cleanse the blood and also increases milk flow for the breastfeeding mom. Now that sounds waaay better than the vinegar and ginger pig trotters soup that everyone has been telling me that I ABSOLUTELY MUST ingest to get rid of wind in the stomach post delivery.

Oh, did I forget to say that Louis ordered me a watering can pot of flowers to perk me up on the day that I returned to Singapore from Houston? Well... admittedly, Louis and I are not the most romantic of couples, but my hubby does surprises me occassionally, especially with lovely gestures like this. Like most females, I do love being on the receiving end of flowers. Thank you, darling.