New year, new start

The new year has seen a few changes in Faith's life. New classes, new friends, new teachers, new routines and new environments.

By Dec 08, she turned 19 months and along with that, she moved up the age band for all her classes. From being one of the oldest in her classes, she's now one of the youngest. Her friends are now toddlers like her, ranging from 18-36 months.

At the Little Gym, she's now in the Beasties class. We have also switched her from the all English Playnest class at JG to the all Mandarin Playclub class. For the later, it not only meant a complete switch of language used, but the routine that she has been used to is now slightly different and classes are 2 hours, twice a week instead of 1 and a half hours, twice a week. Kindermusik classes would only start next week, so, we'll have to wait and see on that.

As with all changes, there are the goods and bads.

It might be early days still to say this, but I think there are mostly positive changes.

In her Little Gym class, her friends in the previous class were a mix of babies and toddlers, some walking and others crawling. After 6 months of lessons in what was called the Big Bird's class, lesson were not as challenging nor novel anymore.

Being the youngest in her current class, there's room for her to see and observe the older kids at work. They are nimbler, faster, agile and more confident. They provide the impetus for her to venture out of her more cautious nature to attempt to do what they could do. For example, she never taken much likings to bars. After seeing a few of them hanging and swinging themselves on the bar (agile like monkeys, I might add), she was willing to try.

I hope she would be able to learn new skills, ones that would be age appropriate and help boost her confidence level a little higher.

Admittedly, the decision for her to go into an all Mandarin JG class was made with much conviction although I entered Wed's class with a lots of trepidation and anxiety. Would she be overwhelmed, will she understand at all what the teachers are saying given that she doesn't understand Mandarin. Will I myself be able to help her along seeing that my own knowledge of Mandarin is appalling at best and getting worse with disuse?

Routine-wise, there are some slight variations here and there, compared to her previous class. By and large, they do pretty much the same activities though. The class starts off with free play, some song and dance, self-introduction, art & craft, puppet show, playground, snacks and finally, a bit more song and dance to end the class.

Worried that she might not understand what was going on, I tried to translate and co-relate some of the activities to her English Playnest class. Only to be told by the teacher later not to translate as it might result in the child being dependent on the parent to translate the activities for them instead of them learning to pick up the language all on their own. Oops... this is one of those times when doing less is more :)

Faith was unfazed by the fact her friends, teachers and the language used were different. Of course, she couldn't understand most of what they say, but by some gestures and incentives, she managed fine. She still dance, twirl and clap enthusiastically during the song and dance parts, never mind that she's never heard any of those songs before until that day.

By the end of the lesson, I was pleasantly surprised and proud too by what my little one had achieved. She could repeat 2 words; 你好 - Ni Hao (How are you) and 谢谢 - Xie Xie (Thank you). Each child took turns to be sitted in front of a teacher and was incentivised to follow and read aloud with her the themed words on the flashcard. The incentive was a sticker for repeating the word "Ni Hao". And upon getting the sticker, the kid was asked to say "Xie Xie". Back home, she happily repeated the word "Xie Xie" to the amusement of my mom and Louis.

Overall, it was a good start and a good session for us, bar for one incident.

Her class is a small one, with only 5 students including Faith. Three of them were existing students of the class from last year (1 Caucasian boy, 1 Eurasian boy and 1 Eurasian girl). Faith and another younger boy were the only 2 newbies, with the latter transferred from another JG branch's Mandarin class.

In one of the sing and dance, we were all gathered in a circle, each mother/caregiver standing by the child's side. Suddenly, unprovoked and without reason, the Caucasian boy rushed forward and pushed Faith hard on her chest with his hands, causing her to fall backwards on her butt.

It was so sudden and unexpected that I couldn't even stop it. I was shocked but not too concerned. One of the teachers told him it was wrong to do so and brought him back to stand next to his caregiver (I believe she's a maid). Thankfully, Faith wasn't hurt, and neither did she cried at being pushed.

A few seconds after he was led back to his place, he again rushed forward to repeat the same stunt with Faith. Thankfully, another teacher was anticipating it, along with myself. I held onto Faith while the teacher blocked him from attempting his feat a second time. Again, the teacher led him back to his place, where his caregiver had not moved from her spot to at least try to restrain him.

I could peg this boy as one who is active, boisterous and maybe a tad exuberant. In another earlier activity when the teacher was playing hide-and-seek, he rushed forward to find her and gave her a good hard smack on her back. We all laughed off this incident, with myself thinking that he just didn't understand how to restrain himself.

For the remaining session, he attempted another once or twice more to try to "target" Faith, either by snatching her toys or just shoving her aside when she was near him. The few attempts, the caregiver made some feeble attempts to stop and admonished him.

When we were at the playground later, she somewhat flippantly explained to me, giving me the impression that it was not the first time that he did something like this to another kid. He might sometimes pick on a kid, usually a girl. However, she said that the next day, he would have forgotten all about it.

I wisely held my tongue about it, becos I was still fuming a little that she hadn't rushing forward to stop the child after his incredible first stunt of pushing Faith, or even if her reactions were slow, to at least move her butt instead of standing where she was. The fact that she never once apologised and her laissez-faire attitude about him having being rough with other kids before sounds to me like a lame excuse rather than a reason.

I don't exactly blame the boy, becos he might be young and not know better. However, I do expect that his caregiver be more alert and responsive to his behaviour.

And so, I held my tongue and only said "hmmm..." to what she told me. I knew that if I had allowed even one word to slip out, it wouldn't have been anything nice. I didn't want to kick up a big fuss at what might [hopefully] be a one-time incident, especially since it was only the first lesson.

Towards the end of class, when he again tried to be rough with her while they were playing on the playmat, I told him firmly that he had to be gentle. He then gently used his hand to try to stroke Faith's head.

Like any mother, I am very protective of my child, although I know that in the course of her growing up, she might meet other kids who are just plain mean or being bullies. I would have to learn how to handle such situations myself and/or to teach Faith how to handle them too. Even till now, I still go through the incident in my head and evaluate the various reactions I should have taken or would take if it ever happens again.

You can bet that I'll definitely be on the lookout for any repeat behaviours from both the child and his caregiver on Fri's class. If it happens again, I'm certainly going to do something about it.

However, I do hope it wouldn't happen again. After all, I would like for both Faith and myself to be able to enjoy these classes. Then again, these are all part and parcel of life and perhaps, we might just have to learn sooner rather than later how to deal with some unpleasantness that will pop up once in a while.

An inconvenient truth

I don't know where and how to start on this post. Should I explain where I left off from the last post, with all the to-ings and fro-ings or should I just cut to the chase and tell what was the latest diagnosis?

On reflection and for the sake of friends who are reading this, I shall take the longer route to explain.

Let's get to where we left off about Louis having to go for review on New Year's Eve. After the visit to CGH A&E, he was referred to the Sports Clinic of the hospital. An earlier x-ray of his knee showed that there was no bone fracture, which was supposed to be a good thing becos a bone fracture takes a longer period to recover. To determine more conclusively the extent of his injuries, there was a need for him to go through a MRI.

Unfortunately, the earliest date that he could go for a MRI was on 14 Jan, which was 2 weeks away. Another further 2 weeks was required for the report to be out. In essence, it would be a good one month before he would be able to know where the specific injuries were located.

In the meantime, he was given 1 month of medical leave from work and was expected to be using the crutches to aid his movement during the interim.

It was a rather frustrating and discouraging result for both of us. What made it most difficult was having to wait so long without knowing how serious his injuries were. And becos they could not pinpoint the seriousness of the injury, physiotherapy was also not recommended. Not knowing and the inability to take any action makes the entire situation a little difficult to bear.

Thankfully, Louis received a timely email from his boss with a recommendation to seek a second opinion with another orthopedic surgeon from Raffles Hospital. As the swelling has spread downwards from his knee to his ankle and foot, we decided to consult the outpatient clinic there on New Year's day and also request for a referral to the orthopedic surgeon, Dr Lim Lian Arn.

Therein lies the difference between a public hospital and a private one. Understandably, queues in a public hospital tend to be a little longer as it is subsidised. It's all economics.

We were able to speedily get an appointment to see Dr Lim on Fri when we called for an appointment on New Year's day. And the all important MRI that would shed light on the extent of his injury was scheduled for the same day, with the results out some 45 mins after the MRI scan.

This was what we understand of the situation -there are 4 main ligaments in the knee; the ACL, MCL , PCL and LCL (see here for pictorial diagram and explanations). In Louis' case, 3 out of the 4 main ligaments were torn. Only the LCL, the ligament that gives support to his outer knee was intact. In addition, there was another water capsule (don't exactly know what that is or its function) that had burst. The water capsule was important for some insertion of scope to aid in the surgery.

So, while he definitely requires an operation for his knee, it was not possible at this juncture to do so as we have to wait for the water capsule to repair itself, which would take 3 weeks. Between now and then, Louis would be required to go in to check with Dr Lim on a weekly basis on the condition of his knee.

For now, he should not try to do any lifting or exerting, which includes trying to stand or put weight on his left knee. We also bought a knee brace that covers from the upper top thighs to the calf.

In short, that means that Louis will be home-bound for a while to come (around 1-2 months, hopefully?). The crutches do assist him in moving around but it is not easy as he has to use his thigh muscles to lift his left leg off the ground all the time, making it rather exhausting for him to go anywhere. Even going down to the steak house just next to our block, less than 50 metres away, would require him to take 1 or 2 short intervals in between to rest his arms and leg.

In all this, we are trying very hard to see the silver lining in the whole situation, although we haven't quite figure out what it is. Nonetheless, we are thankful that at least the remaining ligament was not torn -- else, it would have meant his entire left knee was dislocated, whatever that might mean. The other being that although this injury was no small matter, at least it wasn't life-threatening.

Louis, being the positive man that he is, considers the entire situation to be one of inconvenience - to him and everyone else in the family and at work. The pessimist in me is trying hard to be an optimist, thankful and not ask rhetoric question like "why did this happen to him/us".

It is really great that we had strong support and encouragement from our family. My elder BIL was called upon 1 day after his return from a 4-month overseas job stint to help drive Louis to the hospital 3 days in a row. My elder SIL called every other day to see if I required any help or grocery shopping for our meals. My in-laws helped us to take care of Faith during the holiday break, giving us some time to breathe and take a rest. My mom, unfortunately had to take care of another important family matter that cropped up on the same day that Louis sustained his knee injury and was away until yesterday. Louis and I were very grateful when she finally came in :)

Of course, we need to share how our dear daughter has been adjusting to her beloved Papa's injury. We think she might have an inkling of what's happening. She no longer asks for Louis to carry her, although she occasionally still asks him to dance with her when she's excited about her favourite shows like Hi-5 or Elmo. Once, she brought him the plastic mat, which was actually one of her toy, which we improvised and use to catch dripping water from the cold compress.

We have also shifted back to our master bedroom. Faith now sleeps on the floor on her own for the better part of the night. I alternate between sleeping on our own bed and going down to pat or soothe her back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night - unfortunately, I'm not one of those mothers who are lucky enough to have a child that sleeps through the night.

We are taking each day as it comes, and adjusting our routine and lives to accommodate this "slight inconvenience" for as long as it takes till the day that Louis would be able to walk on his own without the aid of the crutches.

It seems like an eternity for now, but I'm sure there's a moral to be learnt of this incident. Not lest this: we always talk about taking the little things for granted - nothing brings home that message more clearly than when one comes close to losing it. For 2009, we are looking forward to the time when we can go grocery shopping in NTUC together again :)

A fairly serious injury

In the late morning, Louis called me and told me somewhat cheerfully that he had twisted and sprained his knee while playing badminton. He said that he was going with my FIL to see the Chinese "sinseh" for the sprained knee.

I asked him if he was in any condition to drive and he still cheerfully told me that he couldn't, which was why my FIL was going with him. The only hint of how serious his condition was was when he said that he needed my FIL to help support him as he walked.

I gathered that his cheerful and positive tone was for my benefit -- so as not to alarm me.

Half an hour later, he called me again to say that the sinseh was not in town and he was headed to Changi General Hospital (CGH) to see a doctor at the A&E.

The gist of it was that he came home slightly after 3 pm, walking with the support of a pair of crutches. Thankfully, the x-ray result showed that he had not sustain any fractures of the bone. However, he could not put any weight at all on his left foot.

This was serious. Serious enough that he would spent money to buy a pair of crutches. Serious enough that he's impeded by his injury for simple movements. This was no small matter of a blackened toe nail that would fall off, or what a day of rest would help.

Without fail and with very few exceptions, Louis would be playing badminton with his ex JC friends every Sunday morning, rain or shine. He's been doing this for as long as I knew him. Longer than that actually. In fact, he's been playing every Sunday with his friends since they graduated from JC - spare for the period that he's overseas.

He had been given MC for 2 days. On New Year's eve, he's due back at the Sports clinic of CGH for a check-up to ascertain the source of injury (ligament, muscle?) and whether he is fit for work. I hope it is nothing serious that would require corrective surgery.

Every one in the family is concern.

He was sheepish and apologetic about the entire affair. It not only meant that he wouldn't be able to help me with anything about the house or Faith for a while but would also need assistance himself for some things. I think he's also a little sadden that he couldn't play or carry Faith for a while -- she tried to pull him up to dance with her in the evening to the beat of a song from the show "Enchanted".

I've always appreciated the fact that Louis helps me out with nearly everything in the house, from taking care and playing with Faith while I do my chores to washing and hanging out the clothes while I put Faith to sleep.

As I went about the usual routine of putting Faith to bed on my own, I appreciate even more the little things that he's always done for us nightly - preparing and setting aside Faith's water bottle for when she wants a drink in the middle of the night, refreshing the water for our aromatherapy lamp, changing the mosquito mat for the repellent in our room etc.

All of seem very small but yet were thoughtful gestures. When you put them together, they mean a whole lot more and shows how much he loves us. Most times, its really the little things that means the most, isn't it.

With his injured knee, he's not able to sleep on the mattress next to our sofa bed anymore. He tried to reassure me that its only going to be for a few nights that he would have to sleep in our master bedroom. I only want what's best for him even though I'm going to miss having him in the same room. Silly, isn't it when its not like we're miles apart from each other. But, our philosophy is that a couple that sleeps together, stays together :)

He had been optimistic and cheerful the entire day mostly for my sake cos he knows that I'm feeling down and a little heartbroken seeing him walk around the house in crutches. For his sake, I'm going to try to be more positive too.

Get well soon, darling!

Merry Christmas & A Happy Birthday

Christmas holds a very special meaning in our family, not becos we are Christians. The date of 25th Dec is always reserved for the family. A time to celebrate and get-together.

It is the day that Louis was born some thirty-odd years ago :)

Being the family man that he is, Louis is happiest when we spend his special day surrounded by family, having a home-cooked meal. Frankly, it doesn't matter to him very much if it was a simple meal, or one that we order in.

Last year, he tolled and slaved over a Christmas turkey. It was the first time that he made it for me and the family after years of pestering on my part. We oohed-ahhed over the gorgeous, succulent and moist bird that came out from our oven and promptly attacked it with relish. So much so that we forgot to take a picture of it for the blog.

This year, we decided to do away with the turkey. And so, I stepped forth and set out to prepare the entire Christmas meal, complete with a Birthday/Christmas Buche de Noel (log cake), the very first cake that I ever made for him.

I was very determine to make him his birthday cake this year as I'm now a SAHM without income. It seemed senseless to me to buy him a birthday present with his own money :)

Apart from our immediate family, a couple of his aunties, an uncle and cousins joined us again (they were with us last Christmas too). It was a bit of a challenge trying to cook a 5-course meal to feed a crowd of 14-15 people, while getting to enjoy ourselves too. We could have pot-luck or order some of the food in. However, I'm a little of a perfectionist when it comes to such gatherings and prefer to prepare all the food for the gathering on my own.

The Christmas menu comprised of a starter of Vietnamese fresh spring rolls (Goi Cuon), with beef stew and crab meat pasta as the mains. We topped that off with the log cake and green-tea tiramisu.

My elder BIL is unfortunately still overseas for work. The good news is that he would be home in time to celebrate the turn of the new year. That would be yet another reason for the family to celebrate.

Thanks to the the aunties, who came loaded with chocolates from their European vacation and a casserole of baked rice, and my elder SIL, who bought some sushi and Korean strawberries, there was more than enough food to go around. As usual :)

Our Christmas tree was also spilling with lots of Christmas presents, not only for ourselves, but along with presents for the 2As too.

As for Faith, she was happy to run around, socialise and alternated between following and bossing around her 2 older cousins all over the house.

It has been a simple but blessed Christmas cum Birthday celebration for us. It means a lot to Louis and I that we are able to have the extended family spend the festive season with us. This is the warmth and love of family that we hope that Faith will continue to be surrounded with as she grows to learn to appreciate it as much as we do.

Little Family's Bintan Trip: 6th - 8th Dec 2008

In all seriousness, I don't suppose there's much sense putting a post about how we spent our 3D2N trip in Bintan during the Hari Raya Haji holiday weekend. Afterall, I'm sure many people know what there is or isn't to do in Bintan. Plus, it wasn't our first trip there.

I suppose I shall let the pictures do all the talking. Suffice it to say it was a somewhat eventful start on the morning of our trip when Faith woke up with her legs filled with rashes. Turns out that she had hives.

It was a mad scramble to get her to see the paedi, and liaising with our travel agent to change our departure time (we have to say that Fascinating Travels, as always, provided excellent services) to a later slot -- we were scheduled to depart at 12 noon.

So, we had our share of fun on the beach, building (with Faith destroying) sandcastles, swimming, eating and doing pretty much nothing else at a beach resort. Just the kind of holiday that I like with a kid on hand.

Another thing... I would think twice about travelling on a ferry during a monsoon season next time. The water was extremely choppy and I very nearly puked on board the ferry. Never happened to me ever before.

I) On feeding - Faith self-feeds only for food she likes e.g. chawanmushi & ice-cream

II) Blowing bubbles - Every kid loves them, Faith included. Although she kinda like to hang the device around her neck and walk around the resort with it.

III) Pretending to suntan - weather was dreary and overcast the day that we were due to depart. No matter, for posterity's sake, Faith is happy to pose for the camera, except that she's not in her swimming costume.

IV) Collage galore - That's why its called collage galore... a mix-match of different pictures.

V) "Almost sisters" - Lo and behold, 2 girls in pink at the reception lobby; one's on her way home to Singapore and the other on her way in from Singapore. Uncannily alike in their pink tops, hair style and size. Just about a month apart in age.

Potty training

Yet another one of those things that we've been procrastinating about - potty training for Faith.

We think she might be somewhat ready, but there's not much harm starting earlier and see how she takes to it. She doesn't always pull at her diapers but when it gets too heavy and is drooping, she would be pulling at it or alerting us that she needs a diaper change.

One day, her diapers got too heavy with pee and it dropped to the floor while she was walking around. My mom was hanging clothes in the balcony and I was somewhere in the house. Neither of us noticed that her diapers had dropped. Suddenly, we realised she was not in the living room and I started to go around the house hunting for her.

I caught her in her room, proudly pulling out and showing me a new diaper that she had gotten for herself. It was then that I realised she was without her diapers and she had gone into the room to get herself a new one.

According to my mom, she started training my niece, Nicole, around the time she was 18 months or slightly younger. My SIL said that her mom, who was then looking after Anthea in the day, started potty-training her after her 1st birthday.

I think now might not be a bad idea to start becos she's only going for two lessons a week until mid Dec, when all classes halt for the holiday breaks. Starting next year, Faith and I are going to be busy as she's going for lessons four times a week.

It would be harder then to potty train her. Since there's a little of a lull time during the year end, it would be good to get her started so that she might have a little more time to get used to it.

My mom was of the opinion that simplicity was best. The pink Ikea potty that we had earlier bought was deemed to be unwieldy for a kid as it had pointy ends. She felt that the old-fashioned, all-rounded potty that we get from the neighbourhood shops would stand up to the potty training better. So, we now have a blue, round potty sitting just outside our kitchen toilet. Most of the time. Occasionally, Faith gets it into her head to shift it around to somewhere in the house, most often the living room.

Last Monday, I thought to put her on the blue potty after she woke from her afternoon nap. Unfortunately, she resisted our attempts to get her to sit on it, despite us trying to tempt her with her favourite snacks like raisins or even a Ribena pastilles. She made lots of noises and struggled out every time we pick her up under her armpits to put her on it.

Of course, we gave up shortly. No point making it an unpleasant experience that she would remember and hence resist going through in the future.

Last Tuesday, while Louis and I were away for a CPR/AED training session in the day, Faith apparently managed to pee and poo in the potty. Unfortunately, that was the one and only time. She hasn't been too keen to go back into the potty since.

On Saturday morning, the only day of the week when Louis is at home in the mornings, he determinedly brought her to sit at the potty when she woke up. To entice her to stay seated on her potty, he sat in her pink potty, while she in her blue. The two of them sat there together for a long time with no results.

In the end, we ended up taking pictures and Faith stood up from her potty after a while and decided to pose for pictures next to the fridge. Sigh...

Meantime, I should stop procrastinating too and get myself to go read up some books or google online resources on potty training. Or better still... just hunker down with her and spend more time at the potty to get her use to the idea.

The man in my live & making a will

[This has been in my draft box for a few days]

The news over the last few days have been rather sombre and bleak, especially with the tragic death of fellow Singaporean, Lo Hwei Yen, in the Mumbai massacre. It made me ponder about life, about how fragile and transient it can be. And somewhere in my mind, I would think about how her husband is coping.

It may sound weird, crazy and stupid. Yet, do you ever stop to think every once in a while what would happen to yourself if someone that you have always relied on is one day no longer around? I do. And when that question surfaces, I invariability chicken out and shove it to the back of my brains.

However, coming on the heels of our 5th year anniversary, I just wanted Louis why he means the world to me and not to regret that I've not let him know.

Now and then, I would jokingly tell him that I provide him with directions in life. In truth, he's the compass and the pillar of support in my life. A friend, soulmate, lover, husband and father, all rolled into a nice neat package. One who knows what makes me tick and who keeps me ticking.

He's the hands-on father who loves openly, plays, tumbles and acts silly with Faith. He brushes her teeth, cleans her face, changes her into her jammies, plays with her every night so that I can take a shower and get ready to nurse and put Faith to bed.

He embraced and relish fatherhood much earlier and with greater enthusiasm than I did for motherhood. Which is probably why she's so much a daddy's girl. She wakes up every morning and more often than not, she would lean over the side of the bed and say "Papa", regardless of whether he's there or not.

He would be the first person that I want to share my joys, fears, frustrations, happiness, trepidations and whatever range of emotions and feelings I've ever experienced since meeting him. The one whom I want to share all the important milestones, not important milestones and everything in between.

As a husband, he is caring, loving, trusting, respectful, honest, selfless, open, fun, silly, indulgent. We have our arguments, spats and petty fights, of course. But we talk it out and not let it fester. We share similar values, beliefs and outlooks in life.

Yet, I think he makes a better husband than I make a wife. I am hotheaded to his calming, even temperament. Tactless when he is the soul of tact, pessimistic while he is almost always optimistic, impatient when he is mostly patient. The list could go on, but I fear that would make me sound like a not-very-nice person :)

Despite all these, he continues to love me for my good and accepts me for my flaws. I cannot ask for a better husband or a better father.

In my ideal world, we would be old and dotty some 40-50 years from now, walking hand-in-hand in the park, while our hoards of grandchildren and our children with their spouses are strolling together with us.

Yet, the ideal world and reality is not the same. The world as we know it is not the same as it was.

And that is the second and more worrisome thought. Reading all these tragic news on the papers conjure unpleasant thoughts of what would happen to Faith if one day, something were to happen to both Louis and I before she is financially independent and able to take care of herself.

It scares me to think that we would not be there to witness her growth and all the important/significant milestones of her life. Yet, it scares me more to think that should that remote possibility ever occurs, we did not make provisions for her.

So, I said to Louis that perhaps it is also time that we seriously think about making a will. Not becos we have much assets to distribute. But to ensure that someone would be able to execute our wishes and intentions on our behalves if we no longer could. Someone to take on the responsibility of her until she is able to do so for herself. It would greatly simplify all the processes and possible situations instead of relying on intestate law.

It may sound morbid, yet, I think it is an important aspect to gravely consider now that we are parents.

Louis asked me "how do we go about doing it?" when I mentioned about making a will. I have no other beyond the fact that we need a lawyer to get it done.

Its time to take stock and to do something about it. There's probably a few things we would have to consider. Do we make individual wills as well? What instructions do we want to leave behind? Whom do we appoint as an executor? Do we need to do a stock-take of our current financials?

I don't know where we should start but we do need to start somewhere.

So, maybe this could be our task for the coming year? A new year resolutions of sorts.