The man in my live & making a will

[This has been in my draft box for a few days]

The news over the last few days have been rather sombre and bleak, especially with the tragic death of fellow Singaporean, Lo Hwei Yen, in the Mumbai massacre. It made me ponder about life, about how fragile and transient it can be. And somewhere in my mind, I would think about how her husband is coping.

It may sound weird, crazy and stupid. Yet, do you ever stop to think every once in a while what would happen to yourself if someone that you have always relied on is one day no longer around? I do. And when that question surfaces, I invariability chicken out and shove it to the back of my brains.

However, coming on the heels of our 5th year anniversary, I just wanted Louis why he means the world to me and not to regret that I've not let him know.

Now and then, I would jokingly tell him that I provide him with directions in life. In truth, he's the compass and the pillar of support in my life. A friend, soulmate, lover, husband and father, all rolled into a nice neat package. One who knows what makes me tick and who keeps me ticking.

He's the hands-on father who loves openly, plays, tumbles and acts silly with Faith. He brushes her teeth, cleans her face, changes her into her jammies, plays with her every night so that I can take a shower and get ready to nurse and put Faith to bed.

He embraced and relish fatherhood much earlier and with greater enthusiasm than I did for motherhood. Which is probably why she's so much a daddy's girl. She wakes up every morning and more often than not, she would lean over the side of the bed and say "Papa", regardless of whether he's there or not.

He would be the first person that I want to share my joys, fears, frustrations, happiness, trepidations and whatever range of emotions and feelings I've ever experienced since meeting him. The one whom I want to share all the important milestones, not important milestones and everything in between.

As a husband, he is caring, loving, trusting, respectful, honest, selfless, open, fun, silly, indulgent. We have our arguments, spats and petty fights, of course. But we talk it out and not let it fester. We share similar values, beliefs and outlooks in life.

Yet, I think he makes a better husband than I make a wife. I am hotheaded to his calming, even temperament. Tactless when he is the soul of tact, pessimistic while he is almost always optimistic, impatient when he is mostly patient. The list could go on, but I fear that would make me sound like a not-very-nice person :)

Despite all these, he continues to love me for my good and accepts me for my flaws. I cannot ask for a better husband or a better father.

In my ideal world, we would be old and dotty some 40-50 years from now, walking hand-in-hand in the park, while our hoards of grandchildren and our children with their spouses are strolling together with us.

Yet, the ideal world and reality is not the same. The world as we know it is not the same as it was.

And that is the second and more worrisome thought. Reading all these tragic news on the papers conjure unpleasant thoughts of what would happen to Faith if one day, something were to happen to both Louis and I before she is financially independent and able to take care of herself.

It scares me to think that we would not be there to witness her growth and all the important/significant milestones of her life. Yet, it scares me more to think that should that remote possibility ever occurs, we did not make provisions for her.

So, I said to Louis that perhaps it is also time that we seriously think about making a will. Not becos we have much assets to distribute. But to ensure that someone would be able to execute our wishes and intentions on our behalves if we no longer could. Someone to take on the responsibility of her until she is able to do so for herself. It would greatly simplify all the processes and possible situations instead of relying on intestate law.

It may sound morbid, yet, I think it is an important aspect to gravely consider now that we are parents.

Louis asked me "how do we go about doing it?" when I mentioned about making a will. I have no other beyond the fact that we need a lawyer to get it done.

Its time to take stock and to do something about it. There's probably a few things we would have to consider. Do we make individual wills as well? What instructions do we want to leave behind? Whom do we appoint as an executor? Do we need to do a stock-take of our current financials?

I don't know where we should start but we do need to start somewhere.

So, maybe this could be our task for the coming year? A new year resolutions of sorts.