Today's my actual birthday. I woke up as usual to find that Louis has left for his weekly badminton session. Checking that Faith was still fast asleep, I tiptoed out of the room to prepare and start Faith's porridge in the slow cooker.
There sitting on the kitchen counter top -- where Louis knows it would be the first place I head to every morning -- was an envelope with a card.
A birthday card from him and Faith.
Its been such a long time since I've received a card from Louis. So long that I don't even remember when was the last time. Then again, Louis and I are fairly down-to-earth people, not given to romantic gestures. Still, its nice to receive a card. Especially when he has managed to get Faith to scrawl her "signature" too :)
Having turned on the slow cooker and read the card, I headed back to bed with a nice, warm fuzzy feeling.
The plan for the night was for the three of us to go for a semi-buffet dinner at Cafe 2000 @ M Hotel.
In the end, dinner was packed noodles (for Louis) and vermicelli (for me) from the coffeeshop downstairs :)
Hahaha... don't feel sorry for me. It was what I wanted.
Let me explain why...
After our usual routine of feeding Faith her lunch, we brought Faith over to my MIL's place, intending to leave her there for a few hours while Louis and I go have our lunch and perhaps catch a show. However, Faith didn't want to let go of the either of us when we reached my MIL's place. She insisted on holding either Louis' or my hand at all times.
My FIL suggested that they (my MIL, Faith and him) head to AMK hub along with us. While they bring Faith to the NTUC and distract her, Louis and I can then head off for lunch and movie. Louis and I decided against watching the show when we reached the Hub as was only half an hour left for us to queue for the tickets and eat our lunch. We rather have a leisurely lunch.
After lunch, my PIL called us to inform us that they were heading to Queensway Shopping Centre. My FIL wanted to buy a badminton racket to replace the one that he lost recently. We decided to go along too as it was near to Ikea and I had been meaning to buy some stuff from there but haven't had the time.
We spent quite a bit of time at Ikea. My MIL bought some kids' plastic bowls and utensils -- I believe some of them will end up being Faith's toys, stored in a section of the TV console that my MIL emptied just for her playthings.
I bought a plastic high chair for her, even though I already have one at home. I've been wanting to get Faith to learn to self-feed for the longest time but have always procrastinated becos I wasn't looking forward to getting the floor and her clothe-lined high chair smeared with whatever food that falls off her spoon or mouth. With the plastic high chair, I could simply line the surroundings with plastic and haul it to the toilet and spray with water when it gets dirty.
I also ended up buying an assortment of stuff that I didn't particular need but thought they would be useful for the home :)
By the time we were ready to head back home, it was past 5.30 pm.
Like the previous day, the sky kept up with a steady stream of rain since the early afternoon and I knew it was the kind of rain that wouldn't let up but would just pour non-stop till the night.
I didn't fancy rushing home to change, dress up and get drenched in the rain from our house to the open-air carpark. Hence, I had suggested to Louis on the trip to Ikea that we should just have something simple for dinner.
By the time we reached home, prepared and fed Faith her dinner, the prospect of buying up our dinner from the coffeeshop downstairs sounded most appealing.
So, while I didn't do anything that was "wow" worthy on my birthday, I actually enjoyed the simple and mundane things that I did today, especially when it was spent with my loved ones.
It is interesting to note that my perspective on what makes my birthday a good day changes with age.
It used to be that when I was younger, birthdays were a big thing that I would always look forward to. It was a day that I get to do what I want with the adults closing both their eyes to indulge me on this special day. It was a day where I get my birthday cake, red eggs, sweets and presents. It also signifies that I'm one year older and can thus get to do the things that I've been prohibited from doing the year before becos I was "still too young".
As one age, birthdays are not something that I look forward to as eagerly as I did in my youth. It hasn't yet come to the stage that its a day that I dread for fear of the creeping digits signalling that I'm way over my prime.
For the last few years, I deem my birthday to be a good one if I spent it doing simple things or even nothing as long as nothing bad happened to put me in a bad or lousy mood.
Who knows? Maybe in another 20-30 years from now, I might deem my birthday to be a good one if it was done with a big bang -- elaborate dinner, birthday cake, presents and having all my children (and maybe grandchildren) to pay homage to me on my special day ;)
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label musings. Show all posts
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Going home...
Three weeks isn’t a long time, but it feels like we’ve spent much more than 3 weeks in London. I don’t mean it in a bad way though. Its just that we did so many things that the days just seem to fill up quickly and fly by before we know it.
Undoubtedly, London is one of the easier cities to adapt to for a family like ours with a toddler. There’s no language barrier, public transport is easily accessible, safe portable water from the tap, ease of procuring food for Faith, a melting pot of nearly all the world cuisines, same electrical socket and voltage system. It is also where a few of our closer friends reside. Undeniably, it is also one of the more expensive places to live in.
Despite all its plus points (and obviously it has its quirks too), we are just relieved and glad that we would be homeward-bound on a flight in a few hours time. I used to believe in the saying that home is where the heart is.
Obviously, Louis and Faith are the closest and most important things in my heart. The fact that we are here in this city, together as a family does make the whole experience enjoyable (as compared to if Louis was here for weeks on end and Faith and I are back in Singapore).
Yet, there’s something tugging at our heartstrings even as we enjoy our time in London. It is something that calls to us whenever we are away overseas...something that draws us to want to head home.
A large part of that something is the strong family ties that we have back home: our parents, siblings, nieces and nephew. Most recently, in the last couple of years, there is also a very tangible place that we have acquired and call our home -- our sanctuary to retreat and recharge in order to face every new day.
These are the key things that call to us for every trip we make. The reasons why we will heave a sigh of relieve when we step onto the aerobridge of Changi Airport. Becos it brings us that much nearer to these things so close to our hearts.
So maybe, its really true that home is where the heart is. Wherever we are in the world, our hearts still stay in Singapore.
From Louis: In more ways than one, we’ve counted our blessings in being able to experience life like that as a family. I think Faith for example, has been probably one of the most fortunate kids we know and we hope she grows up appreciating these moments. Yet, when I look back at each trip we have taken as a family, it was always filled with a little trepidation. In all instances, a lot of courage was required. The thought of Faith getting sick when we’re miles away from home; of Eve getting sick with me still having to work and look after Faith etc – all these thoughts never cease to worry me each time I pack the whole family to trips like these. And I know it is not easy for Eve being with Faith cooped up in a hotel room - I guess one just has to experience it to know how easy it is to underestimate the strength and the will to go through this. In many ways, I will be happy when I get on board tomorrow’s flight just knowing that Eve and Faith have stayed healthy during this trip and work-wise, things have gone as smooth as they could have for me. As the perpetual optimist, I can only count my blessings, as I said. And for certain, when the plane touches down tomorrow at Changi, I’d be very relieved and will be elated to be home.
Undoubtedly, London is one of the easier cities to adapt to for a family like ours with a toddler. There’s no language barrier, public transport is easily accessible, safe portable water from the tap, ease of procuring food for Faith, a melting pot of nearly all the world cuisines, same electrical socket and voltage system. It is also where a few of our closer friends reside. Undeniably, it is also one of the more expensive places to live in.
Despite all its plus points (and obviously it has its quirks too), we are just relieved and glad that we would be homeward-bound on a flight in a few hours time. I used to believe in the saying that home is where the heart is.
Obviously, Louis and Faith are the closest and most important things in my heart. The fact that we are here in this city, together as a family does make the whole experience enjoyable (as compared to if Louis was here for weeks on end and Faith and I are back in Singapore).
Yet, there’s something tugging at our heartstrings even as we enjoy our time in London. It is something that calls to us whenever we are away overseas...something that draws us to want to head home.
A large part of that something is the strong family ties that we have back home: our parents, siblings, nieces and nephew. Most recently, in the last couple of years, there is also a very tangible place that we have acquired and call our home -- our sanctuary to retreat and recharge in order to face every new day.
These are the key things that call to us for every trip we make. The reasons why we will heave a sigh of relieve when we step onto the aerobridge of Changi Airport. Becos it brings us that much nearer to these things so close to our hearts.
So maybe, its really true that home is where the heart is. Wherever we are in the world, our hearts still stay in Singapore.
From Louis: In more ways than one, we’ve counted our blessings in being able to experience life like that as a family. I think Faith for example, has been probably one of the most fortunate kids we know and we hope she grows up appreciating these moments. Yet, when I look back at each trip we have taken as a family, it was always filled with a little trepidation. In all instances, a lot of courage was required. The thought of Faith getting sick when we’re miles away from home; of Eve getting sick with me still having to work and look after Faith etc – all these thoughts never cease to worry me each time I pack the whole family to trips like these. And I know it is not easy for Eve being with Faith cooped up in a hotel room - I guess one just has to experience it to know how easy it is to underestimate the strength and the will to go through this. In many ways, I will be happy when I get on board tomorrow’s flight just knowing that Eve and Faith have stayed healthy during this trip and work-wise, things have gone as smooth as they could have for me. As the perpetual optimist, I can only count my blessings, as I said. And for certain, when the plane touches down tomorrow at Changi, I’d be very relieved and will be elated to be home.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Question: Would we be able to save more if I work?
Having received an unexpected windfall recently, I decided to splurge on a fairly expensive set of toy for Faith. Quite possibly, this is the most expensive item that I have ever bought for her. And while at the cashier, a colourful box of shakers caught my eye and I ended up adding 2 cluster bells instrument to the purchase.
The source of the unexpected windfall wasn't any lottery winnings by the way. Even though I had been on 3 months of maternity leave, followed by a 2-year leave of absence (which is termed as No Pay Leave or NPL for good reason) after the birth of Faith, I had technically "worked" for 3 months last year. That qualifies me for a pro-rated performance bonus that is paid out this year in May.
Having that extra bit of money seemed to induce a heady sense of impulse buying tendency. Actually, to give credit to myself, only the cluster bells were an impulse purchase. I had been eyeing the bead maze toy for Faith for quite a while. But becos they were rather expensive [from my perspective], Louis and I decided to put off the purchase for much later.
Since the extra bit of bonus came in and I figured that this would absolutely be the last time in my 2-year NPL that I would receive any further moolah, I decided to bring forward the purchase of the bead maze. Besides, this would be something that I got for Faith with my own money. Sounds logical, yah? At least this sounds perfectly reasonable and absolutely intelligent rationalisation from the viewpoints of an ex-shopaholic ;)
Even though my mom thinks otherwise, objectively, I don't think Faith has a lot of toys so far. The amount of toys she has only fills a 45cm tall Ikea storage basket. Of course, I've excluded cloth and board books from the list. Books can't be classified as toys! Books are well...educational books.
Thankfully, we don't have many big toys that take up space either. The only one that she has currently is a walker that converts to become a toy car. Other big sets of toys that she had played with were gratefully loaned from a few generous friends. Including the latest acquisition, Faith currently only has 2 big toys -- which I'm sure my mom would say is 2 too many :)
All this long[winded] preamble serves to surface a recent discussion that I had with Louis just before he left home to board the red eye flight to Doha. One of the issues discussed was whether we would be able to save more if I work too. This cropped up in the context of whether I should and would return to the workforce after my 2-year NPL is up.
Alright... if my boss(es) are reading this, let me inform that we have yet to reach any conclusion on the latter issue as there are other factors that would come into play around the time my NPL ends ;)
Back to the point about whether we would save more if I work... the conclusion at the end of the discussion was that we might not really save more or even if we did, it wouldn't be that much more.
If and when I go back to work, our total household income would definitely increase. However, in proportional to that additional income, we would also be increasing our spending. I am dead sure that I would be wearing off the soles of my shoes spending my lunch, after office hours or weekends buying a long list of toys and clothes or sign up endless enrichment and/or learning classes for Faith.
After all, there's a whole industry of all the conceivable and inconceivable things that parents can spend on their kids and I'm pretty certain there are some statistics out there supporting the fact that guilt-ridden working parents (as well as SAHMs) are contributing to the industry's double digit growth rate with their purchases. And let's not forget, with that much more money, how about taking 2 or 3 trips overseas to far-flung places a year, or maybe another one more insurance policy to add to the life, endowment and educational funds that you've already bought for your kid?
As highlighted with my purchase today, its really hard to ignore that siren-like call to spend spend spend some more moolah, knowing your next pay would be deposited into your bank account in the next few days. With that all spending, its not hard to imagine that an inverse-co-relation between increased income and savings could very well happen.
Of course, just as there are households who would spend more money with an increased household income, there are those who need both parents to work just to make ends meet and for some unfortunate others, to barely live on a day-to-day basis :(
We've been very fortunate and ever thankful that our financial situation has afforded for me to take a leave of absence from work. Yet we can still live comfortably with Louis being the sole bread-winner.
In perspective, I have come to be more mindful and careful with my spending in a single-income household. Okay... maybe I still have some occasional lapses and overspend a little, but I do try to keep it in check and as a whole, am successful at it more often than I fail :)
There's lesser of an urge to impulse buy or continuously buy things for Faith to assuage the guilt that I am not able to spend more time with her. In fact, more often than not, Faith's happy to play with things like my measuring spoons, salad bowls, digital thermometer, Ikea kids' cups and bowls and whatever that catches her fancy in the house. Unfortunately, that also includes other forbidden items like our cellphones, TV/DVD/cable remotes, music player etc.
I'm blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with her, watching her tackle every development milestones, be there to kiss and hug her for every single minor or major achievements or something as fulfilling as attending Little Gym classes with her on a weekday, freeing the weekends for more family time -- I've seen kids attending classes with maids and grandparents instead.
I am also able to leisurely pursue some of my passions like baking, attending cooking classes, hitting the gym at off-peak hours and stuff like that that a working mother would be hard pressed to squeeze any further time out to do. And if I'm not lazy, I am able to cook a nice home-cooked meal much to the appreciation of my dear hubby.
Becos I'm not plagued by stress at work, I am a much happier person and hence, a better wife and mother. Most importantly, becos I'm a SAHM, Louis and I have the ability and flexibility to fed and raise Faith with the values that we believe in and hold dear to.
Certainly, working would provide me with some amount of financial independence, a wider perspective in life, colleagues that I can chat and gossip with, and of course, a safety net should either of us ever lose our jobs. However, in the whole scheme of things, being a SAHM has provided me lots of benefits and pluses that might not be equitably compensated by a monthly salary.
So, back to the question of whether we would be able to save more if I work. Well... maybe we would be able to save a liiiiiiittle bit more, but I'm not sure if I would be a happier person as a result. As for Louis, he said that whatever makes me happy makes him happy too.
Ahhhh... what a wonderful husband I have :)
The source of the unexpected windfall wasn't any lottery winnings by the way. Even though I had been on 3 months of maternity leave, followed by a 2-year leave of absence (which is termed as No Pay Leave or NPL for good reason) after the birth of Faith, I had technically "worked" for 3 months last year. That qualifies me for a pro-rated performance bonus that is paid out this year in May.
Having that extra bit of money seemed to induce a heady sense of impulse buying tendency. Actually, to give credit to myself, only the cluster bells were an impulse purchase. I had been eyeing the bead maze toy for Faith for quite a while. But becos they were rather expensive [from my perspective], Louis and I decided to put off the purchase for much later.
Since the extra bit of bonus came in and I figured that this would absolutely be the last time in my 2-year NPL that I would receive any further moolah, I decided to bring forward the purchase of the bead maze. Besides, this would be something that I got for Faith with my own money. Sounds logical, yah? At least this sounds perfectly reasonable and absolutely intelligent rationalisation from the viewpoints of an ex-shopaholic ;)
Even though my mom thinks otherwise, objectively, I don't think Faith has a lot of toys so far. The amount of toys she has only fills a 45cm tall Ikea storage basket. Of course, I've excluded cloth and board books from the list. Books can't be classified as toys! Books are well...educational books.
Thankfully, we don't have many big toys that take up space either. The only one that she has currently is a walker that converts to become a toy car. Other big sets of toys that she had played with were gratefully loaned from a few generous friends. Including the latest acquisition, Faith currently only has 2 big toys -- which I'm sure my mom would say is 2 too many :)
All this long[winded] preamble serves to surface a recent discussion that I had with Louis just before he left home to board the red eye flight to Doha. One of the issues discussed was whether we would be able to save more if I work too. This cropped up in the context of whether I should and would return to the workforce after my 2-year NPL is up.
Alright... if my boss(es) are reading this, let me inform that we have yet to reach any conclusion on the latter issue as there are other factors that would come into play around the time my NPL ends ;)
Back to the point about whether we would save more if I work... the conclusion at the end of the discussion was that we might not really save more or even if we did, it wouldn't be that much more.
If and when I go back to work, our total household income would definitely increase. However, in proportional to that additional income, we would also be increasing our spending. I am dead sure that I would be wearing off the soles of my shoes spending my lunch, after office hours or weekends buying a long list of toys and clothes or sign up endless enrichment and/or learning classes for Faith.
After all, there's a whole industry of all the conceivable and inconceivable things that parents can spend on their kids and I'm pretty certain there are some statistics out there supporting the fact that guilt-ridden working parents (as well as SAHMs) are contributing to the industry's double digit growth rate with their purchases. And let's not forget, with that much more money, how about taking 2 or 3 trips overseas to far-flung places a year, or maybe another one more insurance policy to add to the life, endowment and educational funds that you've already bought for your kid?
As highlighted with my purchase today, its really hard to ignore that siren-like call to spend spend spend some more moolah, knowing your next pay would be deposited into your bank account in the next few days. With that all spending, its not hard to imagine that an inverse-co-relation between increased income and savings could very well happen.
Of course, just as there are households who would spend more money with an increased household income, there are those who need both parents to work just to make ends meet and for some unfortunate others, to barely live on a day-to-day basis :(
We've been very fortunate and ever thankful that our financial situation has afforded for me to take a leave of absence from work. Yet we can still live comfortably with Louis being the sole bread-winner.
In perspective, I have come to be more mindful and careful with my spending in a single-income household. Okay... maybe I still have some occasional lapses and overspend a little, but I do try to keep it in check and as a whole, am successful at it more often than I fail :)
There's lesser of an urge to impulse buy or continuously buy things for Faith to assuage the guilt that I am not able to spend more time with her. In fact, more often than not, Faith's happy to play with things like my measuring spoons, salad bowls, digital thermometer, Ikea kids' cups and bowls and whatever that catches her fancy in the house. Unfortunately, that also includes other forbidden items like our cellphones, TV/DVD/cable remotes, music player etc.
I'm blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with her, watching her tackle every development milestones, be there to kiss and hug her for every single minor or major achievements or something as fulfilling as attending Little Gym classes with her on a weekday, freeing the weekends for more family time -- I've seen kids attending classes with maids and grandparents instead.
I am also able to leisurely pursue some of my passions like baking, attending cooking classes, hitting the gym at off-peak hours and stuff like that that a working mother would be hard pressed to squeeze any further time out to do. And if I'm not lazy, I am able to cook a nice home-cooked meal much to the appreciation of my dear hubby.
Becos I'm not plagued by stress at work, I am a much happier person and hence, a better wife and mother. Most importantly, becos I'm a SAHM, Louis and I have the ability and flexibility to fed and raise Faith with the values that we believe in and hold dear to.
Certainly, working would provide me with some amount of financial independence, a wider perspective in life, colleagues that I can chat and gossip with, and of course, a safety net should either of us ever lose our jobs. However, in the whole scheme of things, being a SAHM has provided me lots of benefits and pluses that might not be equitably compensated by a monthly salary.
So, back to the question of whether we would be able to save more if I work. Well... maybe we would be able to save a liiiiiiittle bit more, but I'm not sure if I would be a happier person as a result. As for Louis, he said that whatever makes me happy makes him happy too.
Ahhhh... what a wonderful husband I have :)
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Walking down memory lane
Indeed I was wondering why I don't seem to see my niece at my MIL's place for the last few weeks when we left Faith there. It seemed to be more or less a ritual for a while that on Saturdays and/or Sundays, Anthea would be at her nai-nai's place in the day, watching her favourite VCD flavours of the week or just pottering around with her toys.
Have read the ACES family's blog, it was a little sad to know that she's gotta stay at home until Faith becomes more independent and my in-laws are able to handle a few grandchildren on hand.
Thinking about that brings back memories of just a few years back, when Louis and I were dating and Anthea was the most doted babe in both my SIL and BIL's households as she was the first grandchild on both sides. Then, I eagerly looked forward to every weekend when my MIL would bring her over to stay and ooh-ahhh over each of her growth and development milestones -- when her neck was strong enough for us to carry her upright, being able to flip, sitting upright unaided and doing a dancing gig, crawling and walking.
I remembered too a stage when she would come knocking on our bedroom doors early in the morning to wake us up to play with her -- despite my MIL trying valiantly to distract her not to do so -- or pulling us from our chores or whatever it was that we were doing to sit and watch Barney VCDs with her, clapping, singing and dancing along with her when she sang and danced to Barney's repertoire of songs.
It didn't seemed too long ago and now, she's already in kindergarten and becoming a big zeh-zeh (sister) to Faith.
Now, I see my in-laws doing the same things with Faith that they used to do when Anthea was that a baby. My FIL would be carrying her and walking up and down the house or downstairs whenever Faith fusses or starts screaming/screeching, my MIL laying a mattress on the floor in the living room where everyone would be gathered and we would be playing and be entertained by Faith as she flips back and forth on the mattress.
If we happen to have dinner at my in-laws' place, my elder SIL and BIL would take turns to play or carry her around the house after dinner. My younger BIL's fiancee, Cherry, would be eagerly waiting at the sideline for an opportunity to carry Faith in the hopes that she wouldn't cry while in her arms -- which reminds me of my time with Anthea when I was still Louis' girlfriend and then fiancee too :)
Back when I was single and there's a baby/toddler on hand to play with (and the luxury of returning the kid back to the parents when they cry, poop or become sleepy), I just love the period when kids are below the age of 2. Now that I'm a parent myself, at times, I just wish Faith would quickly grow up and gain some level of independence -- I believe that there's a co-relation between her independence and mine, in fact, a very high co-relation. But more importantly, I think she would have a fun time playing with her other cousins as she gets older :)
Have read the ACES family's blog, it was a little sad to know that she's gotta stay at home until Faith becomes more independent and my in-laws are able to handle a few grandchildren on hand.
Thinking about that brings back memories of just a few years back, when Louis and I were dating and Anthea was the most doted babe in both my SIL and BIL's households as she was the first grandchild on both sides. Then, I eagerly looked forward to every weekend when my MIL would bring her over to stay and ooh-ahhh over each of her growth and development milestones -- when her neck was strong enough for us to carry her upright, being able to flip, sitting upright unaided and doing a dancing gig, crawling and walking.
I remembered too a stage when she would come knocking on our bedroom doors early in the morning to wake us up to play with her -- despite my MIL trying valiantly to distract her not to do so -- or pulling us from our chores or whatever it was that we were doing to sit and watch Barney VCDs with her, clapping, singing and dancing along with her when she sang and danced to Barney's repertoire of songs.
It didn't seemed too long ago and now, she's already in kindergarten and becoming a big zeh-zeh (sister) to Faith.
Now, I see my in-laws doing the same things with Faith that they used to do when Anthea was that a baby. My FIL would be carrying her and walking up and down the house or downstairs whenever Faith fusses or starts screaming/screeching, my MIL laying a mattress on the floor in the living room where everyone would be gathered and we would be playing and be entertained by Faith as she flips back and forth on the mattress.
If we happen to have dinner at my in-laws' place, my elder SIL and BIL would take turns to play or carry her around the house after dinner. My younger BIL's fiancee, Cherry, would be eagerly waiting at the sideline for an opportunity to carry Faith in the hopes that she wouldn't cry while in her arms -- which reminds me of my time with Anthea when I was still Louis' girlfriend and then fiancee too :)
Back when I was single and there's a baby/toddler on hand to play with (and the luxury of returning the kid back to the parents when they cry, poop or become sleepy), I just love the period when kids are below the age of 2. Now that I'm a parent myself, at times, I just wish Faith would quickly grow up and gain some level of independence -- I believe that there's a co-relation between her independence and mine, in fact, a very high co-relation. But more importantly, I think she would have a fun time playing with her other cousins as she gets older :)
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