Deepavali Treats

Louis and I are fortunate to have known and count many Indians among our network as great friends. Even though we have always enjoyed the local Indian fare, it is through our Indian friends that we'd learnt to understand and appreciate the culture a little better, along with the great curries, dals and myriad creativity of the cuisine.

And becos a number of them are vegetarians, I've learnt to make a few vegetarian dishes along the way and picked up other dishes from my own little limited collection of Indian cookbooks to create my own favourite home-cooked Indian dishes.

We really dig the diverse and tantalising Indian cuisine and on the occasions that I do make some of these dishes at home, Louis would be happily mopping up the curries with roti/naan or covering the top of his basmati rice with it.

Today's Deepavali, as it is known in Singapore. For many of our friends who are of Northern Indian origins, it is called Diwali. I guess they mean the same thing, just that its called differently depending on whether its in Tamil or Hindi.

Our neighbour right across from our units are Indians. Other than the nodding of heads and the occasional smiles when we see each other on our way home or in the estate, we have not really built much rapport or talked much to.

However, in recent months especially, they have been particularly friendly towards our little girl, smiling and talking to her when they see her at the lift lobby. Maybe its becos Faith smiles a lot even to strangers or kids just have this knack to break the ice even among the most reticent of adults.

This morning, the door-bell rang at lunchtime. When we opened the door, it was to find our neighbours with 2 big bulging plastic bags, filled with containers of briyani, chicken and mutton curries, prawn masala dishes and Indian sweets.

We were absolutely surprised and touched by their gesture. In fact, when I was reading early this morning in the living room at 4-ish am (I've become an insomniac ever since I'm conceiving #2), I could already smell the tantalising aroma of curries wafting through the corridors and into our unit.

They must have been hard at work, chopping, cutting and preparing to cook all the curries and great food fresh for the festive season.

It was a lot of food for the 2 of us and Louis brought most of the food for our in-laws. The great thing about curries is that they keep well and taste even better a day or more after cooking.

So, Louis and I are going to have us a great lunch today, compliments of our neighbours.

To all our Indian friends out there, Happy Deepavali or Diwali!

Breast milk is the best

Page 4 of the Mind Your Body section of the Straits Times dated 6 August 08 featured an article written by Dr Peter Chew, a senior consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician at the Gleneagles Medical Centre titled "Breast milk is the best". In it, he expounded that breastfeeding is the natural way and human milk - made specifically for this - is the best source of nourishment for the infant with many benefits to the mother. He further quoted that the WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years of breastfeeding, with exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of an infant's life.

Reading this article, I feel vindicated. At the same time, I am tempted to shove this article in front of the people who have looked at me incredulously in the past when I tell them that I'm still breastfeeding Faith beyond the age of 1 year. I feel the need to cut and safe keep this article in my wallet so that I can flash it in the face of whoever else that will give me that same incredulous and judgemental look should they learn that I still am and would like to continue breastfeeding Faith for as long as I could.

Sadly, some of the people who judged and thought that I'm mental for continuing to breastfeed Faith instead of giving her formula milk are friends and even people close to me.

Most people recognise that breastfeeding is better [than formula]. Unfortunately, the unspoken time frame in which they think it is acceptable to transit from breastmilk to formula milk lies somewhere between the age of 6-12 months of an infant's life.

It is all good and fine to quote WHO's statement on breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years. What I felt the article failed to articulate further was why breastfeeding beyond the age of 1 is beneficial for toddlers.

What a lot of people, even some mothers who have breastfed their kids, do not not know is that the important immune factors present in breastmilk increase in concentration in the 2nd year. That makes a whole lot of sense becos that's the age that children gain independence with greater mobility. Their curiosity is boundless, their eyes are so sharp to see what we adults would miss, and the little fingers so quick to pick things up from the ground and put it in their mouth before a single exclamation could be uttered.

There's also the other benefit that kids who wean themselves off breastfeeding instead of being forced to before they are ready tend to be more secure.

I've been asked by mothers who breastfed kids before if it was painful to continue breastfeeding when the baby has teeth. I've been questioned and ridiculed (in a nice way) for my desire to continue breastfeeding despite my telling them the benefits of extended breastfeeding.

I feel indignant. I feel frustrated. I feel trapped. I feel exhausted from having to defend my decision to do what is medically proven to be the best and right thing to do for my baby.

Why should I substitute my best and what nature had intended for formula milk? Pharma companies have been trying unsuccessfully for years to replicate all the beneficial components in breastmilk but failed to accomplish. They cannot reproduce in formula milk the immune factors that protect my child as she is growing up.

Please do not mistake me. I have nothing against formula milk. In fact, when Faith was 10 1/2 months, I introduced a serving of formula milk for her in the day to replace breastmilk for a slot. Neither do I think lesser of any mom who chooses to give her child formula.

Having gone through the daunting and difficult period of having Faith learn to latch on properly after birth, I know how stressful it is to have to breastfeed at a time when one is coping with post-natal depression, hormonal changes, recovery from delivery and a totally different lifestyle and responsibility. It didn't help that well-meaning friends advice to to persevere with breastfeeding made it worse for me.

The thought of giving up then and there was so strong. Each time I entertained thoughts of that, I feared I would be labelled a failure as a mom for failing to persevere. I gritted my teeth and things got better. I told myself that I would do the requisite 6 months. Six months came and went. Then, I thought again that I will let her hit the one year mark before switching her to formula milk.

Fate [or Faith] has a habit of intervening. At nine months, Faith still has a distaste for formula milk. Given her pint size, I was determined that she should still drink her share of milk, even though she eats her solids well. Breastmilk was the answer becos she never refuses breastmilk. In fact, she loves it.

Thus, the 1 year mark came and went. Even though she continues to have her once a day share of formula milk, she gets to latch on for the night and early morning feeds. As I plough the web and read more information on extended breastfeeding, I became fully convinced of its merits and why I should continue breastfeeding.

Nonetheless, I yearn for the return of my boobs to its former size. Seriously, an increase bustline and cupsize is over-rated. I have scores of tops in the wardrobe left hanging forlornly becos I either can't squeeze them past my chest or zip them up. I've got to buy all my tops one size bigger or go for loose-fitting tops to accommodate my new boobs.

Yet all this inconveniences to me will come to pass in a matter of 2-3 years, maybe more if a second one comes along. However, the benefits of breastfeeding will serve Faith well, even for the rest of her life.

I once held similar incredulous views about extended breastfeeding. My little one taught me otherwise. I hope that as more people read such articles, they would be encouraged to not view extended breastfeeding negatively.

I made no judge of any mom who chooses to breastfeed her child for whatever length of time, or even not at all.

I only ask for the same consideration to not judge me and to respect my decision in bringing my child up the way I deem best for her.

Dubai as I see it

Source: http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2005/07/sinister_paradise.html

Dubai fascinates me. The entire city seems to be in a constant state of development. Developing newer, bigger and more iconic skyscrapers, office buildings, apartments, condominiums and malls. I even learnt a new term, Pentaminiums, meaning penthouse condominiums. Everywhere I travel along the highways, I see many buildings in different state of development and construction, seemingly trying to surpass one another with awe-inspiring or jaw-dropping intents.

Piling works ongoing in empty plots of land. Long cranes sitting high atop already tall, half-finished skyscrapers. A fully developed apartment tower is sandwiched in between another two partially constructed buildings. Every few kilometres, one can see billboards and posters advertising newer development areas and projects.

In time to come, the well-known Burj Al Arab will be surpassed by yet another monument skyscraper, the Burj Dubai. Looking at this latest project, the words that come to mind are sleek, majestic, modern, cool, cold.

The skyscrapers and buildings do make for a pretty sight. Sunlight reflecting off the shiny windows of ceiling to floor glass buildings, glittering and sparkling like blue sapphires. Images of the sky and fluffy clouds can be seen mirrored on these shiny glass facades. At night, the long cranes are all lighted up, and the skyline of the entire city twinkles every other second, warning helicopters and airplanes of the sheer height of all the skyscrapers in this concrete jungle desert city.

At times, they all seem so surreal and unreal. As much as I am a city girl, I just cannot imagine myself to be living in this city. Maybe I am not the sophisticated city mouse that I thought I am. Or perhaps, this is really the grandeur an oil-rich country can buy for itself.

And becos they are so rich, I imagine that it would be beneath most Arabs to think about working in the service industry. In the hotels, the malls and the retail shops, the staffs are Indians, Pakistanis, Filipinos or Africans. Carrefour has an entire section dedicated to selling common items and condiments for Indian and Philippines cuisines. Timeout Dubai list many Indian restaurants around the city, ranging from the affordable and value-for-money to the haute cuisine.

Still, I’m grateful for the chance to see and experience Dubai, even though I’m holed up in the hotel more often than not. I chalk it up to an education and eye-opening experience.

Right now, I can’t wait to go to the spice souk and/or perhaps the gold souk. Instead of being greeted by service staff with a foreign accent, I hope to glean into the Arab of old. One where perhaps, an old and weathered man, sitting amidst all his products, hawks his goods.

Real life or reel life?

I've been an avid fan of the current 108-episode Korean drama "Be Strong, Geum-Soon!" that's running on Channel U, Mondays - Fridays at 7 pm. Occasionally, when Louis is home in time to catch the show with me or when we view the recorded episode after putting Faith to sleep, he would be commenting or lamenting about some of the scenes.

Yesterday, the episode featured the father-in-law of the lead character absolutely seething and furious with his eldest son becos the latter hid the truth from his parents and did not tell them he married a woman who was a divorcee with a son (whom her ex has custody of). The father was so disgraced and humiliated that he refused to talk to his son and daughter-in-law and even asked them to move to stay on their own asap.

My dear hubby was next to me and asking if Koreans are still fundamentally conservative and consider a divorce woman to be social stigmas or pariahs, who not only brought disgrace upon her parents but is doomed to a fate worse than the lowest of human form and never to remarry. I certainly don't profess to know any better.

However, I once heard from our Korean friend that in S.Korea, if an old lady deign to scold or lecture a person on the streets (i.e. a stranger), one should be grateful becos the elder cared enough to want to help correct the person's behaviour.

Anyways, the long and short of it was that my hubby was curious enough to drop an email to our Korean friend after the show and asked her about it. I'm curious myself to know too. While I'm a Singaporean Chinese, its not an unknown fact that we're much influenced by Western (more American, I suspect) cultures so much so that the Chinese think of us as bananas (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). Even though the government is concerned about rising divorce rates, I believe the society is tolerant of remarriages for divorcees.

As soon as our friend replies, we'll share whether the scene from the show depicts real or reel Korean values and culture.